How to Catch an Elf
by legolover
Summary: Fangirls from across the globe compete for the elf of their dreams in a cross between the bachelor and survivor! Carrying misadventures ranging from an invasion of Mary Sues, a Coca Cola hyped proudcer, and trash can of doom! Enter if you dare. REWRITING!
1. It all starts with a letter

**How to catch an Elf!  
****Disclaimer: I do own LOTR.**

**Summary: It's a cross between the bachelor and most likely survivor! A lot of Fangirls competing for the Elf of there dreams! Who will rise above the rest and who will fail! I swear it's better then it sounds! Crazy Producers, Soda obsessed as well, a crazy host, and so much more!**

**Chapter 1. The idea begins with a letter. No not O!**

Adriana Fitch looked over the many piles of papers on her desk. Ratings had been down for weeks now. The shows:  
Documentary of a king: The Life of Thanduril  
Viva la Elf  
Saturday Night with Elrond  
and Mushy Love of Rivendell were all falling to produce good reviews. She sighed and rubbed her temples. She needed something new something exciting.

"Why did I get into this business." she muttered and picked up a paper. It was a letter from Sarah Clark, a friend of Adriana's. It read:

_**Dear Ana,** _

**Busy week eh? Heard that ratings are down and are not looking so good. You really need to find something exciting and new. Though I must say that I would love to catch myself that elf on Mushy love at Castle point. What's his name? Oh yeah Darren. Oh he is so dreamy. Hey do you think you could set me up with him. You know as a favor. Please tell me you can! As a favor to me! I would be so grateful. Listen I got to go I have some work to do. Talk to you soon,  
Sookie (Sarah)**

Adriana looked at the words Catch myself that Elf. She snapped her fingers.

"Its genius!" she yelled and danced around " Its perfect its stupendous!" Adriana walked out the doors and went straight up to her secretary. "Ms. Hawthorne get all the board members together for a meeting in the board room! Its an emergency! Tell them if they aren't there in 15 minutes I'll fire them!" and with that Adriana rushed off to the board room. Dancing with people, singing, and yelling Its Genius! All the way people wondering if she had finally cracked under pressure.

**( 15 minutes later )**

Adriana ran into the board room and went to the head of the table. All the executives were there mumbling and talking. All talking ceased though when Adriana went to the front of the room.

" Ladies and Gentlemen." she started " We have gone down in our ratings for Elf-live! We are almost dead last. Every station is laughing at us. Even Egg Plant studios, Who are now above us!" Everyone winced at her angry tone but Adriana smiled and sighed.  
"But an idea has just struck me." she paused. " We know how much young elleths love to watch shows like the Batchelor, Win a date with a handsome elf, and so on but they don't know how to keep them there. So I have decided to start a program called ' How to catch a Elf.' Where we see what it takes to get the elf of your dreams. We will also see how women like Galadriel and Celebrian got their husbands. Thank about it ladies and gentlemen it will be genius!" Everyone looked at her silently.

" Um not to be a downer but I do not think this is a good idea Ms. Fitch I mean look at the facts you are not fit to be running this company and further more-" Mr. Kirk fell down a shaft while screaming. " No not the fired peoples place!" Adriana smirked holding up her remote control with a big red button.

"Anyone else want to disagree with my idea or comment on how badly I run this company?" she asked. Everyone shook their heads no. "Good now Ms. Clayton I want to make sure that we can get this set up immediately. Make sure that we can get some interesting stories and cut any boring ones!" Ms. Clayton quickly jotted this down .  
"Mr. Steep, I want you to make sure that we have the financial means to do this., Ms. Valdes make sure we can film in Lothlorien, Rivendell, and Mirkwood. Without the fear of Spiders, Orcs ,or screaming fan girls every moment. This ladies and gentlemen is to be our comeback and we must make it big! Now get to it and somebody bring me a double cherry coca cola!" And with that the people went busily to work while Adriana propped her heels on the table sipping her coke.

' This will be my greatest victory. Soon A.M.F. television station will be number one again.'  
" Number one." she mused " Number one."

**Preview of the next chapter: "I WANT A FREAKIN HOST ALREADY!"**


	2. Ah MARY SUE!

**Disclaimer: I do own Lotr**

**Chapter 2. Mary Sue!**

Adriana chugged down her fourth coke that morning. Instead of being a coffee addict like most she was a soda freak. But only drank Dr. Pepper and Coca Cola. She threw the can into the trash can and then yelled:

" Ms Hawthorne get me another soda and make it snappy!" Adriana looked over the memo's and documents she had to sign. She picked them up and threw them into her briefcase. She was taking work home with her again! She sighed, today was the day she would start looking for hosts of her show. She wondered who would be crazy enough to take the job. After all her company was suffering greatly to lost ratings. Adriana wondered if anyone would show up at all.

Ms. Hawthorne set the coca cola down on Adriana's desk.  
" Ms. Fitch the executives are ready to start looking at hosts." said Ms. Grace Hawthorne  
" Oh thanks." said Adriana " Did anyone even show up?"  
" Just look outside your window." replied Grace. Adriana got up and looked out and she almost fainted. A line traveling for who knows how long traveled over the corner, up the street, around the building, and even further.  
" And there all here for your show Ms Fitch." said Grace  
**"** Well what are we waiting for lets get this show on the road." said Adriana and she ran out the door with her briefcase in hand as well as her coke. She quickly came to the board room and sat down at the head of the extremely long table.

" Okay send in the first victim." said Adriana rubbing her hands together.  
" Oh yeah she had a lot of coke today." said Mr. Steep. The others nodded in agreement and looked up as the first victim um I mean applicant appeared.

A 5'7 girl with curly blonde hair, sparkling blue eyes, and the perfect body walked in. The men were in heaven. Adriana rolled her eyes disgusted and looked at the form as the blonde maiden sat down.  
" Well Ms. Crystal Fairchild you certainly know how to make your presence known." commented Adriana. Crystal blushed slightly.  
" Sorry about that Ms. Fitch." said Crystal softly. Her voice was like an angels.  
" Well Ms. Fairchild, tell us a bit about yourself." said Mr. Steep  
" Yes tell all." said Adriana leaning forward in her chair.  
" Well I grew up in Mirkwood but when I was 1000 years old my parents suffered a tragic death from a giant spider attack." Crystal got a little teary. 'Oh shoot me' thought Adriana " So I had to grow up mighty fast. I haven't had a good life. After being dumped in the care of my evil step-aunt and her evil daughters. I couldn't bear it. They made me a servant in their home. I always hoped that someday my prince would come and rescue me but so far that day has yet to come." Adriana looked at her. ' She looks like she just got finished using daddy's plastic. This girl is to perfect….and that's not what I'm looking for.'

" Look Ms. Fairchild." said Adriana interrupting the girls story about wanting a fairy godmother. " Your just not what I'm looking for in a host. I thank you for your time but No is your answer!" Crystal's eyes got really big and she began to pout.  
" Please Ms. Fitch. Please." she begged  
" And I hate whiners even more! Security! Take this girl out of my site!" said Adriana disgusted.  
" But what about my story." said Crystal  
" Yea yes it was very sad. Next time you want to try and bring a sap story to me don't even bother coming up here." said Adriana. Crystal glared as she was taken away.

" You can't be serious! That women was perfect why didn't pick her as a finalist!" yelled Mr. Steep  
" Because she was to perfect and I didn't like her." said Adriana  
" Kirk was right! You are a two bit ,no good , greedy, stupid…Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!" he yelled as he fell into the fired peoples place.  
" Anyone else want to disagree with me!" she yelled. The others shook there head. " Ms. Hawthorne! Get me a new executive of economy! Stat!" Adriana sighed and looked at the form. She threw it into her waste basket and it exploded into flames.  
" Another one bites the dust." she murmured. " NEXT!" Adriana looked up at the new girl in front of her. She had flaming red hair and sparkling green eyes. ' Hmm Bridget Bloodthirsty. Great a mercenary.'

" Uh Ms. Bloodthirsty?" asked Adriana  
" Yeah." answered Bridget pulling out a six pack of beer and plopping her motorcycle boots on the table.  
" Why do you want to be on this show?" Adriana asked  
" Cause I need a job (burp) and cause my parole officer told me to get a job(burp) or he would put me back in the slammer." said Bridget talking another swig of her beer.  
" Alright he-he NEXT!" yelled Adriana tossing the application into the trash can of doom.  
" Hey! Hey! You can't do this to me! I am a federal Lothlorien Women's Correctional Facility Beauty Queen!" yelled Bridget as security took her out.

" Ms. Fitch I thought you wanted someone a little crazy." said Ms. Clayton  
" Not that crazy." said Adriana " NEXT and somebody get me another soda!" Adriana riffled through the papers and looked up when the next applicant came in. She looked like a bubbly teenager but also very pretty. Strawberry blonde hair and an interesting shade of violet eyes. She walked in with grace and attitude.

"Well let's see who we have here." muttered Adriana looking over a form. "Claire Demoure. Please take seat." Adriana motioned to a chair at the very end of the long table.

"Well Ms. Demoure tell us about yourself." said Ms. Clayton  
"Well I have been to middle earth about 362 times. You could say I just fell into Middle Earth. Being the klutz that I am I mean. But as always Legolas or Haldir fall in love with me and it's always a good experience.-" Etc. Etc. Etc. Adriana stared at the young girl in bordem.  
"NEXT!" she yelled. "SECURITY!"  
"What I haven't finished the part where I get to kiss the hot guy!" exclaimed Claire  
"I don't care." stated Adriana "SECURITY!"  
"BUT YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME I AM ONE OF THE MOST USED MARY SUES!" yelled Claire as she was being taken away.  
"I don't care if you were the first women on the moon lady you're not what I'm looking for so get out! Out! Out!" yelled Adriana.  
"MARY SUE POWER!" yelled Clarie before she was taken away from the board room. Adriana crumpled up her application and threw it into the trash can of doom. Letting it explode into flames. She sipped her coke and looked at the other people in the room. They wanted an explanation she could tell. She sighed.

"She was a Mary Sue activist. I don't want someone promoting Mary Sueness on my show. Got it?" asked Adriana annoyed. The others nodded. "Good send in the next victim!"

A elf with long black hair and stunning blue eyes walked in. If this girl had bee standing next to Arwen they could have passed for sisters. Adriana watched as she glided into the room making herself look very graceful and beautiful. '  
I bet plastic surgery for the body, chest, and ears.' thought Adriana un-amused. She sipped her coke quietly and looked over the women's form.

Her name was Syndaria Lybella Demoura. What a name eh?  
"Well Ms. Demoura it appears that you have been the most normal out of everyone we have met." started Adriana "Tell us a bit about yourself."  
"Well." started Syndaria "I lived in Rivendell all my life. As a lowly servant to a cruel master. I always hoped that I would be able to get fre and then I-"  
"Yeah yeah yeah I heard this before now tell us something other then that. Like dreams. Personal goals, anything to make you actually sound more interesting are." said Adriana. Syndaria was taken aback and her eyes became very wide and innocent looking. The soft crystal tears began to fall down her face delicately.  
"I'm sorry." she whispered sweetly.

"It's okay Ms. Demoura.' said a man next to her in comfort. "Ms. Fitch is just a little cranky today. She always is." But Syndaria just kept on crying while the man comforted her. Adriana rubbed her temples. She could feel a headache coming on. She watched the two at the end of the table and clenched her teeth to keep from screaming.

"THAT'S IT!" she yelled losing her patience. Everyone turned around and faced her. "YOU MARY SUE GIRL! GET OUT OF MY OFFICE RIGHT NOW! YOU PATHETIC SAP OF A MAN WHO WORKS FOR ME YOUR FIRED!" and she pressed the button on her remote and the man went screaming down the chute to the fired peoples place. Adriana looked at Sybdaria who was looking stunned.  
"DID I NOT TELL YOU TO GET OUT OF MY OFFICE? GET OUT! SECURITY!" Security quickly came in and removed Syndaria from Adriana's sight. Adriana crumpled up the application and threw it into the trash can of doom. Letting become prey to the fire. She quickly scribbled down some notes and looked back up at her executives.

"Who was it that I fired?" she asked.  
"Uh department chair of finding the people for this program Ms. Fitch." replied Ms. Clayton shakily.  
"Mhmm." started Adriana "Well I'll just have to find a new one then. SEND IN THE NEXT VICTIM! OH MS. HAWTHORNE I NEED ANOTHER COKE! PRONTO! THANK YOU!"

**( 254 applicants 10 hours. 109 sodas 50.00 dollars seeing a whole bunch of Mary Sues trip to the psycho ward. Life is priceless. There are some things money can't buy.)**

Adriana threw the 254th application into the trash and called security 254 times. She was now hyped on sugar and caffeine. She also was now looking less then impressive. She sighed  
" Bring in the next applicant." she muttered sitting up straight and trying to look decent. The door opened to reveal…

MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I leave you there! Please R & R. It would be most helpful to me. Thank you. - Legolover/Ted/Adriana


	3. I have arrived!

**Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR  
Chapter 3. I have arrived!**

The door opened to reveal …the Janitor! Adriana groaned in frustration.  
"Uh sorry Ms. Fitch but its close to closing time and I need to clean all the rooms." said the janitor. Adriana sighed and rubbed her temples in frustration.  
" Hank go ahead and do the rest of the building I have some things to talk over with my executives. " said Adriana trying to sound as nice as possible.  
" Alright Miss." replied Hank and with that he walked out the door. Adriana closed her eyes in thought for a moment. Silence engulfed the bored room. Some of the executives began to nod off. Adriana slammed her hands down on the table.

" That's it!" she yelled. The executives jumped up and tried to look awake. " I will host the show! I can't stand to see another Mary Sue!" and with that Adriana began to walk out the door.

" But Ms. Fitch you can't be the host of your own show!" exclaimed Ms. Steep  
" I can and I will!" yelled Adriana holding up her remote. " And if another person tells me I can't you'll be fired! Now have yourself a nice day! Tah!" and with that Adriana slammed the door's to her office and began to look at the array of paper's she had to do. A tentative knock came to the door.

" WHAT!" yelled Adriana. Grace stepped in.  
" Ms. Fitch there's another applicant here to see you." she said  
" Tell them to go away!" yelled Adriana  
" But Miss I really think you'll like her." said Grace. Adriana raised an eyebrow.  
"Fine send her in." muttered Adriana sitting in her swivel chair.

" You may come in." called Grace. Adriana watched a pink haired girl with blue eyes walk in. Adriana raised an eyebrow.  
" Is that your natural hair color?" she asked outright as the application was handed to her.  
" I change it all the time." was the reply from cotton candy head. Adriana looked over the sheet.

**Name: Jacqueline Demeter ( Quinn, Jackie. )  
age: Guess  
Obsession: Coffee and so much more  
Which do you hate more: Really really really really stupid over obsessed fan girls.  
Who do want to interview/track/trap/ or hunt for this show?  
Haldir, Orophin, Rumil, Elladan, and Elrohir,  
Are you Insane/crazy? And if not how do you become like that: Show me a hot guy and give me coffee! My coffee!  
Fear's: Nothing. Except for the fact that when I see red I go crazy. **

Adriana smiled slightly. " Well Ms. Demeter you're the first person today that I actually like." she said "But first I need to ask you a few questions."  
" Go ahead." said Jacqueline.  
" Are you cranky in the morning?"  
" Yes."  
" Do you think it would be fun to torture our dear interviewees?"  
" Yes."

" Would you humiliate people on our station?"  
" Duh."  
" Do you get crazy almost all the time?"  
" Yes." said Jacqueline. Adriana smiled  
" Well Ms. Demeter I do believe that you have just become our new host. Congratulations." said Adriana shaking her hand.  
" Thank you very much." said Jacqueline.  
" Now let's talk about what we can do for this show." said Adriana " After all I am sure that you have some most wonderful ideas." Jacqueline smirked.  
" You have no idea." she replied  
" Ms Hawthorne!" yelled Adriana " Get me a cherry coca cola and get my new host a super mocha latter with the works."  
" You read my mind." said Jacqueline. Adriana smiled slightly.  
" I am glad." she replied " Now down to business."

Ms. Hawthorne ( Grace ) gently set the large coke and large latte on the desk of her boss. The two people were so engrossed in there conversation they didn't say anything to her. From what she did hear though it would make even the noblest elf cringe. She caught words like.  
Chocolate, Fluffy Bunnies, Mind control, and the ever popular sharp pointy objects. Yes when two devious minds get together there is no telling what the consequences are.

**A/N: Yes well I might as well start this now if I am going to get it done. I need all able and ready fan girls for this story. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! Fill out the application below and get back to me. I would greatly appreciate it. But first a word to my reviewers. **

Tiger Tiger 02: I'm glad you like it so far. It shall become very …interesting

The White Masque: I'm glad you're excited! Thank you so much for asking to be in it! Please keep reading!

Kabuki: I hope you enjoyed chapter 2 & 3. I am glad you think it's good so far

Milla J: I'm not telling you…LOL!

Zola: One of the better Parodies eh? I am so touched. LOL.

Gi Xian: I can't have you be the host but….IF you would like to be a fan girl please fill out the form below and send it back to me. Thank you

Cap'n Meg: Don't worry I will update my other story once I finish the newest chapter. Promise.

Fangirl application:

Name:

Age: ( You'll be like 2 thousand years older for this story)

Who are you obsessed with the most: (pick from list)

Legolas  
Haldir  
Elrond  
Glorfindel  
Elladen  
Elrohir  
Celeborn  
Orophin  
Rumil  
Thandril

Favorite Drink: ( Soda, Coffee, Apple Juice, Etc, etc)

Favorite LOTR or Tolkein Book:

Food Obsession: ( Sugar, Pizza, Mini Corndogs. Etc, etc…)

Which do you fear more: ( Giant Spiders, Mary Sues, Orcs, Grima Worm tongue , or Saruman?)

Random things about yourself:

Why did you want to participate in this fic:

So fill this out people or tell me in the next review! Tah for now duckies and Tally ho the fox!


	4. Get Me a Coca Cola

**Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR**

**Chapter 4. Get me a Coca Cola!**

Adriana awaited the call of her executives telling her that they were able to film in Lothlorien. She wore a light blue dress and her hair was in a bun. She looked perfect but everything was not going well at the studio. It was failing miserably to produce some male elves for the show. So as much as Adriana may have looked fine she was not. She was very angry and asked for coca cola every 15 minutes. She was a nervous wreck and was pacing up and down in her office. The phone rang and Adriana raced to it.  
"Hello." she said trying to sound calm.  
"Uh Ms Fitch um well you see we tried to get a Haldir and the others but…" Mr. Carson stumbled over his words  
"But what?" asked Adriana coldly  
"They won't let us film in Lothlorien and the elves said they wouldn't do it." said Carson. Adriana's eyes twitched.  
"Listen here Carson!" she yelled into the phone " I don't care if you have to kidnap the elves I ask for you will get them! So do it! Now!" and with that Adriana slammed the phone down onto the receiver. She slammed her fists down onto her desk and tried to calm down.

" That's it!" she yelled " Ms. Hawthorne! Get a search for any and all fan girls. We are going to make this show work if it's the last thing I do!"  
"Um which fan girls do you want Ms. Fitch?" asked Ms. Hawthorne. Adriana rummaged through her papers and pulled out a piece of paper.  
"Girls who just adore these men err elves!" yelled Adriana " And get me a coke when you come back." Ms. Hawthorne looked over the list in front of her.

**Legolas  
Haldir  
Elladen  
Elrohir  
Thandruil  
Glorfindel  
Elrond  
Rumil  
Orophin  
Celeborn**

Ms. Hawthorne quickly faxed the list to talent scouts and the some of the studio executives. Sometimes it was so hard to work for Adriana. She quickly called the executives and told them that those elves had to brought to A.M.F productions immediately. She also told them that Ms. Fitch was encouraging kidnapping. She sighed and picked up a coke for her boss.

She walked into the office and found Adriana yelling into her phone. " Well do it anyways! I don't care if there is a risk! Just do it!" Ms. Hawthorne handed Adriana her coke and walked out the door. Yes it was definitely a mad women she was working for.

**( Half an Hour later)**

Quinn Demeter walked into the production building and from the bottom floor could hear Adriana yelling to her executives.  
"Oh this will be fun." she muttered, snapped her fingers, and disappeared up to the top floor. She walked over to Adriana's office.

"Good Morning Ms. Hawthorne." said Quinn  
"Morning Ms. Demeter." said the frantic secretary.  
"Is Ms. Fitch in?" asked Quinn  
"I TOLD YOU TO DO WHATEVER IT TAKES!" yelled the soda high producer.  
"Never mind." said Quinn "I'll go in and see her myself."  
"I don't think you should do that Ms. Demeter she might-"  
"Don't worry about it." said Quinn and with that she walked into the mangled and destroyed office. She picked her way around the sheets of paper to a seat at the desk where Adriana was busily yelling at an employee over the phone.

"I DON'T CARE HOW YOU DO IT JUST SEE THAT IT'S DONE! SO DO IT AND DO IT NOW!" yelled Adriana and she slammed the phone down on the receiver and slouched into her seat.  
"I love what you've done with the decorating. It suit's the place." commented Quinn looking around. Adriana just glared at the women and riffled through a pile of papers.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" asked Quinn. Adriana sat back and rubbed her temples for a moment. Then she smiled widely and evilly.  
"I have the perfect job for you Quinn." said Adriana "How would you like to be in charge of the Elf Retrieval process?" Quinn raised an eyebrow.  
"I wouldn't mind what do you want me to do?" she asked. Adriana pulled out a list from one of her desk drawers and handed it to Quinn.  
"Get me these elves by any means necessary." said Adriana  
"Any?" asked Quinn  
"So long as they are not dead or injured in the end. I'll pay you extra for this." said Adriana. Quinn looked over the list.  
"You have some pretty high in the social status here." she stated.  
"Oh these three you don't have to get I have a _special_ thing for them." said Adriana smiling mysteriously.  
"Alright I'll do it." said Quinn  
"Good!" declared Adriana "Now go meet my bumbling idiot of an employee Carson and his crew. I'll tell them your in charge now."  
"Very well." said Quinn and began to walk out the door.  
"Oh! One last thing Quinn send it all through Sea Pickles. Carson will tell you what I mean if you don't understand." said Adriana  
"Of course Ms. Fitch." said Quinn  
"Have fun hunting." said Adriana before she busied herself with other important things. Quinn smiled and on her way out said:  
"Oh I most definitely will." she mused and she walked out of the office smiling all the way

**A/N: Phew! That was hard work there! LOL. Not really but anyways let's say Hi to all my lovely reviewers.**

**The White Masque: Well IF I had heard that I would most definitely agree! Hope you like the chapter**

**Kabuki733701: Congratulations you have been accepted into Legolover's Fan Girl thing. Have fun and remember you're only radioactive if you it the pudding. Don't worry everyone makes a good fan girl I just might have to tweek you're personality a itty bit. LOL.**

**Milla J: OKAY OKAY I UPDATED! DON'T HURT LEGOLAS YOU FIEND!**

**Tiger Tiger O2: Yeah I'm going to have to call you Annie because your name sounds and looks (almost) exactly like mine. So yes you were accepted! And trust I need all the people I can get!**

**Legolas Fan: Thank you for filling out the form. So far almost everyone loves Legolas. LOL**

**Gi Xian: NO TALLY HO THE FOX IS ALL MINE! LOL. Sorry I'm possessive. Thanks for wanting for wanting to be a Fan girl! I don't know if I can make you an Elfin Queen. We'll see what goes down.**

**Inwepirate Elf: Yes she is. I love it! Yes what shall my twisted mind come up with! Muwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!……Thanks for trusting me!**

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed and remember there is always more room for Fan girls. If you would like a different character for a different elf who is completely different from you put it on your review or email me. Thank you. - Legolover**

**(Fan girl application: )**

**Name:**

**Age: ( You'll be like 2 thousand years older for this story)**

**Who are you obsessed with the most: (pick from list)**

**Legolas  
Haldir  
Elrond  
Glorfindel  
Elladen  
Elrohir  
Celeborn  
Orophin  
Rumil  
Thandruil **

**Favorite Drink: ( Soda, Coffee, Apple Juice, Etc, etc) **

**Favorite LOTR or Tolkein Book:**

**Food Obsession: ( Sugar, Pizza, Mini Corndogs. Etc, etc…)**

**Which do you fear more: ( Giant Spiders, Mary Sues, Orcs, Grima Worm tongue , or Saruman?)**

**Random things about yourself:**

**Why did you want to participate in this fic:**


	5. Haldir, Rumil, and Orophin

**Chapter 5. Haldir, Rumil, & Orophin.**

Haldir watched as the TV people walked away sulking. He couldn't believe that Lady Galadriel had let them go free. He leaned against his post and watched them go.  
It had been a tiring day for him. Galadriel thought it was high time that Haldir actually got a life and married but Haldir just didn't want to. His life was to always be the march warden and it always would be. No matter how many times Galadriel told him it was time for him to settle down. 

Haldir looked at the post where Rumil, his brother was suppose to be. He wasn't there. Haldir sat up straighter and looked to Orophin's post. He also was not there. A silence swept the forest. It was eerie. Not a single sound could be heard. He strung his weapon and looked around for any signs of movement that he may have missed.

" Uh excuse me?" someone asked from behind. Haldir spun around and aimed his arrow but then lowered it when he saw that it was only a women. He cursed himself for becoming so jumpy over a women.

" Who are you and what are you doing in Lothlorien?" he asked in his official voice.  
" I'm just here to deliver a message and return it when you are done." said the pink hired women in front of him. She handed Haldir a piece of parchment that reeked heavily of women's perfume. Haldir almost passed out the vapors were so strong but opened up the letter none the less.

_ Oh dearest Haldir,  
I do not know how to express what I have to say to you. My need for you is great. My hope that you will join me even greater. Hopefully you shall. It is in words that I plan to tell you that I love you! I always have! I think of you every second of everyday. Please tell me you care for me. I pray to the gods you do. So send this letter back checking yes or no at the bottom and sign your name to so that I know it was you who made the decision.  
Love Allison  
Yes-  
No-  
_

' Who in the Valor's name is Allison?' he thought. The pink haired maiden handed him a quill and some ink. Haldir checked no. He hesitated on signing his name though. It was odd how this maiden wanted to make sure that her heart would be broken by the one she cared for but never the less he signed. The Pink Haired maiden smiled gleefully as he handed her back the parchment.

" What's so funny?" he asked. The Pink haired maiden opened up the parchment to reveal a contract with his name written at the bottom stating that he accepted the terms to be on the show How to Catch an Elf. Haldir's eyes widened and he strung his bow. " You tricked me!" The Pink haired maiden shrugged.  
" Whatever it takes right?" she said with a laugh. She snapped her fingers and was gone. " I'll see you soon Haldir!" That's when an intoxicating smell of strawberry's and roses filled the air. Haldir couldn't breathe. He choked and sputtered. He fought to stay awake but his world to darkness before he could do anything.

Quinn looked at her catch of the day. " March warden of Lothlorien…check." she smiled happily. " Well I wonder what happened to his brothers?"  
" Ms. Demeter!" called a big man. Obvious body guard. " We found the other two and knocked them out."  
" You used the gas right?" she asked  
" Yes Miss."  
" Good job Fredrick." said Quinn ( Jacqueline ) " Alright everyone! Load it up we got to get to get to Rivendell!" So a group of about 67 people packed up the equipment and elves.

" Ms. Demeter what about Celeborn?" asked Carson  
" We're not to get him just yet. Special orders from Ms. Fitch. She has a different approach for him." said Quinn. Carson nodded. Soon the caravan was moving again.  
" Fredrick!" yelled Quinn " Get somebody to take our catch of the day back to A.M.F productions. Ms. Fitch will want to see the prizes we've got for her." said Quinn.   
" Yes Ms. Demeter." said Fredrick " Tiny! Alex! Garson! Take the elves back to the studio and meet us back in Rivendell." The three ex pro wrestlers nodded and took the packages back to A.M.F studios. In there very own handy dandy cage that looked like a big box. No one would ever suspect that three elves were hidden in crates marked Pickles off the Sea. Now that's nasty. And while our three wrestlers did this our dearest Quinn and the rest of her entourage were heading toward Rivendell to capture the next batch of elves they would need.

Yeah another Chapter! I hope you all liked it! I enjoy writing it. So now onto my reviewers. 

**  
The White Masque: Yes I am still preparing for the show. I have to do that before I can actually give you one. LOL.**

Kabuki 733701: Yes I accepted you so be happy! LOL. I'll do some personai;ity tweeking for sure. I can promise you. Most of my characters will be like that.

Milla J: I'm glad that I made you laugh and one last thing/….DON'T HURT LEGOLAS!

Gi Xian: LOL. I've never tried those things! I have had sugar packets before but that was because I was very hungry and it was a last restort of food. They were actually pretty good but I ran out. I was so hungry! 

Bewaryofsquirrels: Thank you for becoming a fan girl! I will be sure to make you random and crazy!

Inwepirate elf: Yes I am a crazy soda obsessed producer. Ah what a life!

My Dear Delirious: The Fangirls will come as soon as I have kidnapped the elves! LOL

Tiger Tiger 02: Ohhhhhhhhhhh coooooolllllllllllllllll. LOL.

Ale Black: You have been accepted as a Fan Girl welcome to the show! LOL 

**  
Well that's everybody I believe! Thank you all for reviewing! As for now I'm off. TALLY HO THE FOX!**


	6. Elladen, Elrohir, and Glorfindel

**Summary: Fan girls, elves, crazy hosts, sugar obsessed producers, and one show. How on earth will anyone survive!  
Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR**

Chapter 6. Elladen, Elrohir, Glorfindel.

Adriana sat in silence at her desk. The show was coming along well enough. She sipped her coke and stared out her window. Thousands of fan girls awaited to be chosen for the show. At least 10 would be chosen for each elf. Each competing to see what it would take to get the elf of their dreams. She sighed.

" This is turning out more like the Bachelor and that isn't exactly what I wanted but we all must make sacrifices for the good of the network." she mused to herself. Her phone rang and she answered it.

" Hello." she said   
" Ms. Fitch there are three very um large gentlemen gentleman with your uh _Sea Pickles._" said Ms. Hawthorne. Adriana's eyes widened.  
" Send them in." she replied setting the phone down. The double doors opened and three ex pro wrestlers walked in. " Did you get them?" The men nodded and opened the crates. Adriana smiled gleefully. "Tell no one else of this. Take them down to the safe house. I'll make sure that you receive a bonus in your salary."  
" Thank you Ms. Fitch." they replied with a bow.   
" Your welcome now go." said Adriana. They nodded and took the _Sea Pickles._ Adriana smirked gleefully as they walked out the doors. " 3 down…7 to go." and she sat back down at her desk looking over the last of her papers.

Meanwhile in Rivendell….

Elrohir and Elladen ran down the halls of the palace. They were running from very angry very purple haired Glorfindel.  
" You'll not escape this time!" he yelled down to the twins.  
" Looks like he's really mad." stated Elladen  
" Well yes I would think he would be mad since his hair is dyed purple." Elrohir paused for a moment. "I knew we should have dyed his hair pink instead! Its more his color!" The boys laughed and tried to pick up their pace as to get away from Glrofindel but he caught up to them and grabbed them by their shirt collars.

" Got you!" he exclaimed. " Now we'll see what Lord Elrond has to say about your newest _adventure_." The three of them turned around and jumped in surprise to see a pink haired maiden standing before them.  
" I am sorry to disturb you gentlemen but I have some messages for you." she pulled out two envelopes and handed them to the elves before her.

Even though Glorfindel was indeed angry his hair he decided to open the letter and let the twins go so he could deal with them later. So he carefully opened up his letter.

_To Lord Glorfindel of Rivendell:_

We at the Psycho Ward would like to know if you would like your subscription of Psycho monthly. Please send this letter back to us checking Yes or No. Also please sign your name at the bottom so that we know that you are the one who received this letter.

Sincerely,  
A. Dorinda

Yes-  
No- 

Glorfindel stared wide eyed at the letter in his hands. He quickly checked no and signed his name with the quill and ink that the pink haired women had provided. He handed the letter back to the girl and waited for the twins to finish their letter.

Elladen and Elrohir looked wearily at the letter in their hands. They carefully opened the letter and began to read.

_To Elladen and Elrohir:_

We know that since you two are great archers you see fit to think that you are the best. Well you're not, you freaks! We are, Our names are Dee and Ali. Both of us are sick and tired of hearing about your perfect skills so we decided to do something to do about it! So we challenge you to an archery contest. Tomorrow at noon. Check Yes or No and sign your names at the bottom. Don't take long! We will only see this as coward ness and think you are nothing.  
Ali & Dee  
Yes-  
No-  
  
Elladen and Elrohir stared at the note with a look of dullness. These girls obviously were just being stupid. Besides if they wanted to face off against them then they would have to come and challenge them face to face. They quickly checked No, explained their reason, signed their names, and handed the letter back to the girl. A huge grin spread across her face as she was handed the _letters_ back.

" What on earth are you smiling about?" asked Glorfindel annoyed. The Pink Haired maiden opened up the letters to reveal contracts for How To Catch an Elf with their names at the bottom. Stating plainly that they agreed to the terms of this contract. The three elves glared at the women.

" You tricked us!" yelled Elladen. The Pink Haired girl smiled devilishly and shrugged.  
" That's part of the job sweet cheeks. See you soon." and she snapped her fingers and disappeared. Suddenly the room filled with a sweet smelling gas. Coking the elves until their world turned black. Now mind you they were not dead merely knocked out.

Once the gas cleared a group of 67 or more people.  
" Alright!" yelled Quinn " Let's get them packed up! We need to get to Mirkwood and fast! We're losing daylight people move it!" Quinn looked at her clip board and checked off Elladen, Elrohir, and Glorfindel as caught. The three elves were loaded into the Sea Pickle crates with hole of course and taken away.

" Ms. Demeter." called Carson " What about Elrond?"  
" Ms. Fitch has something special planned for him. Now get moving ! We need to get to Mirkwood and catch our last prize." Quinn smiled happily. " If we catch the Prince of Mirkwood Ms. Fitch will be very happy….Very happy indeed." she paused. " Fredrick! Make sure those crates get to A.M.F studios in perfect condition. You know Ms. Fitch will get angry if you damage her _Sea Pickles_."  
" Yes Ms. Demeter." replied Fredrick " Alright Chewy! Tiny! Garson! Take these crates to Ms. Fitch immediately."  
" Yes sir." they replied in unison and took the crates back to A.M.F studios. While the rest of the caravan went onto Mrikwood. Hopefully they would not run into any giant spiders. Though somehow I doubt that highly. 

**There ya go another chapy. Now onto my reviewers but first my fan girl list.**

( NOTE: If you are not on this list and have singed up please email me or put and application in your review. Next to your name is the person or persons you are Obsessed with. I might change it but I will notify you if that happens. Thank you)

Fan girl List: 

Milla J- Whoever  
The White Masque- Legolas  
Dreadlock pencil- Legolas  
My Dear Delirious- Elrohir   
Inwepirate elf- Legolas  
Kabuki 733701- Legolas  
Legolas Fan- Legolas  
Gi Xian: Legolas  
Be wary of Squirrels: Glorfindel  
Ale Black: Elladen  
Sexyredhead: Legolas, Elladen, Elrohir. ( I have filled my capacity with Legolas so I might have to change your obsession but I'll see what I can do)  
Lady Alya Faelyn: Haldir, Elladen, Elrohir.

NOTE: TO ALL OF YOU WHO HAVE THREE OBSESSIONS WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE THREE DIFFERENT CHARACTERS? Your first character will go to your first Choice. Even if one has to many (cough legolas cough)

Kabuki 733701: You character sounds very interesting indeed. LOL

The White Masque: I'll keep the Monty Python thing n mind. This will definitely be interesting

Milla J: YOU HURT LEGOLAS AND YOU WILL DIE! I  
Cap'n Meg: …But you can become a character. You just may not be a Legolas Fan girl. You might be different Fangirl….Who knows!

Inwepirate elf: I'm glad you liked it. It was really hard trying to think about how I would do this.

Gi Xian: Well if there was a cute guy sitting next to me I wouldn't go sugar high….maybe.

Ale Black: I'm glad you wanted to be a fan girl! It's so hard to find some sometimes. LOL. Anyways your kickball story is interesting. I am a natural klutz at times but hey as long as I am happy and sugar high! LOL

Ladyalyafaelyn: You have been accepted as the next fan girl for Legolover's story. Please remember to keep all hands and arms inside the vehicle at all times. Thank you and Have a nice day.  
LOL. I am weird like that. 


	7. Legolas

**Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR **

Ch 7 Legolas

Adriana looked at what had been brought to her. Another crate of Sea Pickles.  
"Yes! Now I only have one more to go!" she exclaimed. Alex, Garson, and Tiny smiled proudly.  
"Wait…" started Adriana looking into the crate. "Why is this one purple?" The three men shrugged. "Grrrr! This package was suppose to be undamaged when it came to me! Ms. Hawthorne! Get me a stylist immediately! I will not have on eof my Sea Pickles purple!"

"Yes Ms. Fitch." replied Grace walking out of the office to make a phone call.

"And you three!" yelled Adriana whirling around and looking at the three men in the room. "If the next package of Sea Pickles is harmed in any ways you'll be fired so quick that you won't even feel the burn! Now get ut of my office and get back to work!" The three men raced out of the office and slammed the door behind them. Adriana slumped into her desk chair.

"Is it really that hard to follow my instructions?" she asked out loud. "Oh forget it. Ms. Hawthorne when you are finished booking the stylaist bring up the men to move my package to the super secret safe house." She said into the intercom.  
"Yes Ms. Fitch." replied Grace. Adriana sat back and sipped her Cherry Coke.  
" This is going to be a very long day…" she muttered and continued to work through the many piles of paper on her desk.

**_( Meanwhile in Mirkwood….) _**

Legolas Greenleaf, prince of Mirkwood, was doing a little target practice. It was quiet today, No giant spider attacks, orcs , or massive groups of Fan Girls bothering him today. Legolas thanked the Valor for peace this day. He sighed and strung another arrow and aimed it. He was just about to shoot it when someone yelled: "IT'S LEGOLAS!"

Legolas's arrow dropped to the ground and he whirled around to see a group of bubbly hyper active elleths running toward him.  
"Why me?" he cried out to no one and began to run away from the group of girls.

"Legolas come back!" yelled one girl  
"I love you!" cried another. Legolas just kept on running for his life.  
"Why didn't I keep my guard up!" he yelled and continued to run. He turned a corner and was yanked down hard to the ground. H elooked up and saw a pink haired women before him.

"Please tell me your not a fan girl." begged Legolas. The women looked disgusted.  
"As if." she muttered. "Now be quiet they're coming."  
"OH MY GOODNESS! LEGOLAS IS GONE!" cried a fan girl. Screams erupted from the group of gils. Legolas and the women covered their ears.  
"WE MUST FAN OUT AND SEARCH FOR HIM!" yelled another. The girls agreed to this and began to search.  
"REMEMBER OUR BLONDE HAIRED BLUE EYED PRINCE IS OURS! DON'T LET ANYONE ELSE HAVE HIM!" yelled the same girl and soon all had gone their separate ways.

"They're gone." said the pink haired women after a little while.  
"Thnak you for saving me…I guess?" said Legolas about to walk away.  
"Wait!" pulling him back down to the ground. "I need your signature for this!" The girl held up a note to the prince. Legolas looked at the note and then back at the maiden.

"It's a note from my sister. Just read it, sign your name at the bottom, and check yes or no." said the girl  
"But why?" asked Legolas  
"Just do it I have to get home anyways!" yelled the pink haired women. Legolas rolled his eyes and began to read the note.

_**Dear Prince Legolas,  
My name is Alafamarion Sybella. I am in love with you and I must know desperately if I have a chance to win your love! Oh please let it be yes u beg of you! Check yes or no and sign your name at the bottom.  
Sincerely your loving beautiful and soon to hope full wife**_

**_Alafamarion Sybella  
Yes-  
No-_**

The girl handed Legolas a quill and some ink. Legolas quickly singed his name at the bottom and checked no. He didn't feel like softening note by explaining to the girl why he had checked No. He quickly handed over the note to the girl. She smiled widely when she received the note. Then she began to laugh. At first it was a chuckle, then it got louder, and more evil. Legolas back ed away from the girl.

"What is your problem?" he asked. The girl opened up the letter he had just singed to reveal a contract that said he accepted all the terms to be on How To Catch an Elf.  
"You tricked me!" yelled Legolas. The women just shrugged and said:  
"That's my job sugar! I'll see you soon." and she snapped her fingers and was gone. Legolas stodd up and was about to run away when a sweet smelling vapor raised into the air. Legolas fell to his knees coking on the substance.  
"So tired…Must rest." he said before his world turned to darkness and he fell to the ground.

"Alright people et him into the crate! Move it people!" yelled Quinn. She sighed and pulled out a clipboard and checked off the name Legolas. "Ah the Prince of Mirkwood." she looked around and saw Carson. "Carson! You paid the Fan Girls right!"  
"Yes and gave all of them an application for the show." replied Carson  
"Good very good." mused Quinn " Let's get a move on. I want to show Ms. Fitch her newest catch."  
"We'll send the vrate ahead of you so you can take it to Ms. Fitch." replied Carson.  
"That won't be necessary I'll take it myself." said Quinn "See you around Carson."  
"Bye Ms. Demeter." called Carson watching as the pink haired women made her way to AMF studios with her crate of Sea Pickles.

**NOW THE REAL FUN CAN BEGIN! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
But first a word to our reviewers then the new fan girl list.**

**Inwe Pirate Elf: I did somewhat think that there would be a lot of Legolas. I'm going to try and twist the plot to see what happens. But who knows. ( PS. I think Orlando Bloom is Sexy!) LOL**

**Gi Xian: LOL. I updated ….see (points above to writing)**

**The White Masque: Yes well now all the elves are caught and the fun can begin. Can we say: CRAZYINESS insured!**

**Kabuki733701: Yes well I'm glad you liked you liked the chapter! You character will be cool to use. LOL**

**Tiger Tiger 02:….Your not? Oh damn it! ( Just kidding) LOL**

**Cap'n Meg: Sea Pickles crates are awesome man! They carry really good looking elves inside! LOL**

**Azerrinna: NO NO NO! YOUR NOT TO LATE! I just didn't receive anything! I didn't get a fan girl application from you that's all! SO FILL ONE OUT AND SEND IT TO ME!**

**Tathiela: You have been accepted into Adriana's How to Catch an Elf story. Thank you for participating. LOL**

**Milla J: YOU ARE A FANGIRL! I PUT YOU AT THE TOP! JEEEZZZZZZZ!**

**Legolas Fan: Well Thank you for making another character. It helps me a lot!**

**Dread Lock Pencil: Elrohir wasn't in the movie?…Neither of the twin's were!…Maybe in the extended addition. Erm you are accepted to have Elrohir. But you need to fill out another application ok? Thank you**

**_Fangirl List:_**

**Milla J: Whoever**

**The White Masque: Legolas **

**Dreadlockpencil: Legolas/Elrohir**

**My Dear Delirious: Elrohir**

**Inwepirate Elf: Legolas**

**Kabuki73301: Legolas**

**Legolas Fan #1: Legolas**

**Legolas Fan #2: Haldir**

**Gi Xian: Legolas**

**be wary of the squirrels: Glorfindel**

**Ale Black: Elladen**

**Sexy red head: Legolas, Elladen. & Elrohir**

**ladyAlyafaelyn: Elladen, Elrohir, and Haldir**

**Tathiela: Haldir, Ororphin, and Rumil**

**Remember if you want another character you need to filll out another form. IF you want to be in the story you need to fill out a form. I have decided I will change the plot a little since Legolas has so many Fan Girls. (me being one of them) So if you like Legolas you will most likely be patron to him. So don't worry about it. Okay? Please and Thank you**

**Legolover/Adriana/Ted**


	8. New Surroundings

**Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR. **

**Ch 8. New surroundings  
**  
Adriana groaned and rubbed her temples. Everything was ready everything was set but the arrival of her last elf was taking to long. She needed to know that her next pack age of _Sea Pickles_ was okay. She had been told from the talent scouts that there were a lot more applications to be a Legolas Fangirl then anything else. If she didn't have Legolas she didn't have a show.

"Ms. Fitch." called Grace opening the door. "Quinn is here to see you and she has a package of uh Sea Pickles for you." Adriana's eyes brightened/  
"Send her in!" she exclaimed. Grace opened the door and Quinn came in with Fredrick carrying the very large package. He set it down on the ground and walked out of the office leaving the two ladies alone.

"You've got it?" asked Adriana walking up to the crate.  
"Yes. It was not a problem." said Quinn. "Would you care to see?" Adriana nodded. Quinn smiled and lifted the lid.  
"Perfectly undamaged." mused Adriana "I like this box of _Sea Pickles_. I'll have taken down immediately to the other packages." Adriana quickly called someone to take the box away and then began to look through some papers.

"Well it seems that is all the _Sea Pickle _packages we need." she commented  
"What about these three?" asked Quinn pointing to her clipboard for something.  
"Oh those I will handle myself. I have a special thing for them." replied Adriana  
"Oh and what would that be?" asked Quinn raising an eyebrow.  
"That get to be interviewed." said Adriana "along with their female counterparts."  
"But some of their female counterparts aren't around. Like Thandruil's counterpart and Elrond's." commented Quinn  
"Then we'll have them come later as a special surprise for the Fan Girls. For now though they remain where they are." said Adriana

"Alright then." said Quinn "Now what do you have in the way of torture victims I mean Fan girls for me?"  
"Oh only the most wonderful for you. You'll have fun with these ones." said Adriana handing her a sheet with the fan girls on it.  
"Woah! Went a little overboard on Legolas did we?" asked Quinn.  
"Yes well they all love him apparently but don't worry I'll make sure the balance is even. Just get ready for this show. All the technical and financial things have been taken care of. We just need to get the fan girls in place and the Sea Pickles ready and boom we're set to go." said Adriana  
"I see." said Quinn "Let's go check on our Sea Pickles shall we?"  
"Of course." replied Adriana "Ms. Hawthorne! We need the double latte espresso and Cherry Coke supreme in here! Stat!" Grace walked in and handed the two women their drink.

"I knew you were going to ask for it so I had it made right now. " said Grace.  
"Grace you're a miracle worker." said Adriana "Could you set up a board meeting in a half an hour or so. I have to talk with my executives."  
"Of course Ms. Fitch. Consider it done." replied Grace  
"Very good. Come on Quinn we have _Sea Pickles _to check on!" and the two women skipped, yes I do mean skipped, down the hallway. One could only guess what was in store now.

**( Meanwhile in super secret safe house full of _Sea Pickles_)  
**  
Haldir was the first to wake. "Where am I?" he asked himself sitting up and looking around. "And why do I smell like roses and strawberries?" He looked around the room and saw the other elves. Someone stirred next to him and saw that it was his brother, Orophin.  
Orophin sat up and looked around and that's when he saw Haldir. "Haldir?" he asked  
"Yes Orophin?" Haldir replied  
"Where are we?" asked Orophin  
"I don't know." replied the mar warden "But something tells me we need to find a way out."  
"I don't doubt that." replied Orophin pushing his blonde hair behind his ear. "Should we wake the others?"  
"That would be a good idea." replied Haldir moving to a now Blonde Glorfindel.

"Lord Glorfindel." said Haldir shaking the elf. "Lord Glorfindel."  
"Mmm petunia and rosy." murmured the elf lord.  
"Lord Glorfindel wake up." said Haldir shaking the elf once again.  
"Mmm What? What is it?" asked Glorfindel yawning.  
"Look around you. Maybe you can figure it out." replied Haldir moving to wake the twins. Glorfindel did look around and was immediately shocked at where he was. The room was of course all padded. With on iron door leading out. Of course this door was closed.

"Where the hell am I?" he asked out loud.  
"Who knew Glorfidel could say Hell." stated Elladen rubbing his head.  
"Your hair isn't purple anymore!" exclaimed Elrohir "I knew I should have gotten the long lasting dye!"  
"I told you but do you listen to me Noooooooooooooooooooooo!" exclaimed Elladen  
"Oh shut it." cried Elrohir  
"Why don't you?" hissed Elladen  
"That's enough out of you both!" yelled Glorfindel with a sigh. He rubbed his temples. "Does anyone know where we are?"

"No." replied the group of six. Yes everyone was up now. Glorfindel sighed.  
"Well what's the last thing any of you remember?" he asked  
"A women giving me a note." replied Legolas "A pink haired one."  
"Same here." replied Elladen and Elrohir in unison.  
"This is odd. We all must have met the same women." said Hadlir.  
"And you did." said a voice. The elves whirled around and saw the pink haired women at the doorway with another.

"Who are you? Why are we here?" asked Haldir  
"Calm yourself Marchwarden." said the brown haired women next tp pinky. "You are here because you are suppose to be."  
"No I am suppose to be guarding Lothlorien along with my brothers." retorted Haldir.  
"You mean you don't remember?" asked pinky.  
"Remember what?" asked Legolas standing up. The pink haired women held up seven pieces of paper.  
"These are contracts stating that you are now the property of Ms. Adriana Fitch. For her show how to catch an elf." said Pinky pointing to Adriana. Who sipped her soda quietly.  
"WHAT!" screamed the elves.  
"Don't worry boys we'll take very good care of you." said Adriana with a smile. "All you have to do is play our little game. Get attacked by Fan Girls and fall in love. No big." The elves twitched and started to walk towards the two women.

"Ah ah ah." said Adriana "If you hurt Quinn or me you will automatically have no hope of getting of my show. The contracts are binding gentle and only myself and Quinn can release you." The elves back ed away from the two women.  
"Good very good." said Quinn  
"Now gentlemen you shall be transferred to your new quarters soon and tomorrow morning you will be told what your duties will be. Tah for mow duckies." said Adriana and she and Quinn left the room full of elves.

"I can't believe this!" yelled Rumil "These people practically have us in chains."  
"We have no chance of escape." stated Haldir "Without being drawn back in."  
"Then we'll have to go along with this. Until our supposed contracts are terminated." said Glorfindel annoyed. The door to the room opened and a man walked in.

"Time to go to your new rooms for now." said the deep voiced man. The elves walked out of the old room and into the hallway. They were then marched down the hallway to their new rooms. High above the street way. They lived in one giant suite and their entrance door was locked. Their windows were fit with lasers so that they could not open them without getting hit my some form of food or weapon. ( One of the weapons happen to be mashed potatoes)

"Well this is nice." said Glorfindel looking around the room. Then he noticed some cameras. "Never mind."  
"Hey look there's a note." stated Orphin picking up the envelope and opening it.

_Dearest Elves,  
I hope you find your accommodations to your liking. From the windows you get a lovely veiw of the studio and such. You will also find a mass of fan girls outside as well. ( elves look outside and scream in horror)  
Don't worry about them they will not bother just don't go outside. If you do my heat sensitive lasers will immediately fling food at you. Unless you would rather be hit by our newly installed automatic weapons and our handy dandy arrows that project from the wall. Remember to have fun and we are all watching you. _

Sincerely  
Adriana Fitch

"Well she doesn't sound that bad." commented Elladen  
"I don't think we should trust anyone here till we are set free." commented Glorfindel  
"I agree with you." said Legolas  
"So we're stuck in this room until called upon?" asked Elrohir  
"So it would seem.' commnetd Rumil  
"This is going to be very boring." said Elladen  
"Indeed." replied Haldir looking down at the masses of Fan girls below.

**_THE VERY IMPORTANT FAN GIRL NOTE! PLEASE READ! _**

**Okay people I went over the fan girl applications here is what I need some of you to do: **

The people below need to pick one elf out of their group of obsessions to have. I wish I could have you down for all but you need to pick one. (I might show exception on the twins. If you can't pick between them)

Lady Alyafaelyn: Haldir/Elladen/Elrohir

**Tathiela: Haldir/Orophin/Rumil **

Shadow08: Legolas/Haldir/Elladen

Azerinna: Legolas/Haldir/Elrond/Celeborn

To all fan girls: I need a description of how you look. It would be helpful for the story.  
So afr these are the number of Fan Girls for each elf

Legolas- 10  
Haldir-1  
Elrond-  
Glorfindel-1  
Elladen-1  
Elrohir-2  
Celeborn-  
Orophin-  
Rumil-  
Thandruil-

As you can see I am at no loss with Legolas. Anyone who send in another application for Legolas will not be permitted. I am sorry but that's how it works. If you would like another elf please fill out the form. I will let anyone be a fan girl just don't put down Legolas. Put your second choice besides Legolas! NO MORE LEGOLAS! Even if he is pretty! Okay? Thank you.

Regretfully I do not have time to personally thank you all for reviewing but the following list below is all the accepted fan girls:

Milla J  
The White Masque  
DreadlockPencil  
My Dear Delirious  
Inwepirate Elf  
Kabuki 733701  
Legolas Fan  
Gi Xian  
Be wary of Squirrels  
Ale Black  
Sexy Red Head  
Lady Alyafaelyn  
Shadow 08  
Princess of Rain  
Azerinna

Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo if you want to be a fan girl or have a second character you must let me know before the next chapter! PLEASE! Thank you all.


	9. The Fan Girl Report

**Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR**

**Ch 9. The Fan Girl report**

Adriana was in her office looking through her many pieces of paper at the moment. She was mostly concerned about her fan girls. She had just finished reviewing over what Fan girls had been chosen and was now tallying to see how many each elf had.

**Legolas: 11  
Haldir: 5  
Elladen: 2  
Elrohir: 2  
Grlorfindel: 1  
Orophin: & Rumil: 0**

Adriana sighed and rubbed her temples. She was getting annoyed about this. Why had the talent scouts picked so many for Legolas? Why! Adriana threw the tallied paper aside and looked at the stack of Fan girl forms. She quickly shuffled through them and began to find some that would work perfectly for the show.

**Name: Stacy Handcock  
Age: 2022  
Obsession: Orophin**

Adriana didn't even bother to read the rest of the information as she slammed and approved stamp on the application. Then she moved onto the next one.

**Name: Candy Ackerman  
Age: 2018  
Obsession: Rumil**

Adriana slammed the approved stamp on the application and put in the pile of accepted people. She picked up the next form and found another attached to it.  
"Ah twins. Perfect for the boys." she mused.

**Name: Raven Sea-Worth  
Age: 2017  
Obsession: Elrohir**

**Name: Claire Sea- Worth  
Age: 2017  
obsession: Elladen**

Adriana also stamped them approved and moved on. She found another Legolas applicant and quickly threw the application into the trash can of doom. Letting it explode into flames.  
"Alright what have we here." she mused

**Name: Sexy Bubbly  
Age: 2017  
Obsession: Glorfindel**

Adriana looked at the application once again and immediately knew that this girl loved older men and would most definitely be called a slut but oh the fun that could be brought against Glrofindel! Adriana stamped the girl as accepted and moved on

**Name: Diana Diaz  
Age: 2015  
obsession: Rumil (Mmmm sexy)**

Adriana raised an eye brow at the comment but said nothing, counted her as accepted, and moved on.

**Name: Paris Van Starton  
Age: 20018  
Obsession: Orophin**

Adriana stamped the girl and quickly went through the rest

**Name Star McMasters  
Age: 2013  
Obsession: Elrohir**

**Name: Katie Winslet  
Age: 20023  
Obsession: Glorfindel**

**Name: Valerie Gormack  
age: 2023  
Obsession: Elladen**

Name: Casey Bindle  
Age: 2021  
Obsession: Elladen

"YES FINALLY DONE WITH ELLADEN!" she yelled and threw out all the other Elladen applicants in the trash can of doom.

**Name: Confusion Ball of Stupidness  
Age: I HAVE NONE!  
Obsession: …Just think about it and get back to me.**

Adriana sighed and threw the application into the trash can. "Note to self. Fire the absolute idiot who decided to play the ball of Confusion track…Again!" and she quickly turned back to the applications.

**Name: Dorinda Pitchnicks.  
Age: 2025  
Obsession: Elrohir  
**

"YES DONE WITH HIM! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" yelled Adriana as she stamped the girl as approved.

**Name: Cathy Smartass  
Age: 2024  
Obsession: Orophin **

Name: Aria "Baby Doll" Smith  
Age: 2024  
Obsession: Rumil

**Name: Luna Bewitched  
Age: 2026  
Obsession: Glorfindel  
**  
Adriana sighed and looked at the rest of the applications. This was getting way to boring for her. Maybe she should actually read the applications and see what kind of contestants she had brought into the show…..NAH! And she quickly charged through the other applications.

**Name: Sunshine Rainbow Star ( Ohhhhhhh a hippie)  
Age: 2015  
Obsession: Orophin **

Name: Nebula, of the twelfth gate  
Age: 2027  
Obsession: Glorfindel

"Okay Glorfy is done." muttered Adriana stamping the last two girls as approved.

**Name: Lorlinda Venus  
age: 2013  
Obsession: Rumil  
**

**Name: Elizabeth Amelia Bernice Richmond  
Age: 2017  
Obsession: Rumil **

**Name: Brittney McAlister  
Age: 2016  
Obsession: Orophin **

"YES FINALLY THEY ARE ALL DONE!" Adriana danced up and down happily. She quickly threw all the other applicants in the trash and shuffled everything else into a big folder. Everything was going to go perfectly. She just needed to get everything in place and boom the show would begin.

**A/N: Yes well I ran out of gas. LOL. Um anyways I can't accept anymore fangirls really but I might be able to change one of my original characters to a fan girl made by a reviewer. As you can see each one had 5 and Legolas has 11. So that'll be interesting. Now  
FAN GIRLS. THERE IS AN IMPORTANT THING YOU MUST READ BELOW.**

**I have created personalities for each of you. There is also an image with it. For those of you who gave me one. Once again I will not be able to personally give each and everyone who reviewed a thank you. So look below please:**

**Personaility/Image  
Milla J:** Tough girl, Carries daggers around her personage. Loves to kick Mary Sue ass  
Black hair, brown eyes

**The White Masque: **Smart and quiet. But when she gets hold of her Pepsi or sees Legolas she goes crazy.  
5"3' with brown hair and blond streaks in it. I have hazel brown eyes and used to wear glasses, but now wear contacts. I have a fair (pale) complexion and usually wear jeans, a shirt, and sandles.

**Dreadlock pencil: Random. **Very very very random. Loves to talk to inanimate objects and loves to get high of Jolly Ranchers. ( I need to know how you look for the story)

**My dear Delirious: **Fangirl Pah! What fan girl? We see a normal girl who likes martial arts and horror. Has a short attention for the world around at her times. ( Kind of goth? It's your choice. (I didn't have time to look up your image so please just put it on a review)

**Inwepirate elf: **Bubbly. Not an sir head (unless you want to be) Random at times. Loves to sing and dance a lot. Can quote movies.  
I have dark brown hair shoulder length with blue/green eyes and tanish/light skin and a curvy yet skinny body and about 5' 5".

**Legolas fan: I see lots of smiles. Calm at times but very hyper as well.  
Height:5'4  
Hair:Medium length and very dark brown.  
Eyes:Also brown. **

Legolas Fan #2: Very tall. Can't live without Haldir and can apparently change into anything she wants.  
Brown hair and hazel eyes? ( Do you like it?)

**Kabuki 733701: Not absolute Fan girl type. Screams Wheeeeee! And loves her cheese!  
5'6", redish brown hair and brown eyes!**

**Tathelia: **Appears calm and intellectual at times. But then here she comes with her squirrel in one arm and her cage of rats in the other! (Would you care to talk to your pets?)  
5'6" shoulder length brown hair, blue eyes, (Haldir)

**Gi Xian: **Loves loves loves loves loves LEGOLAS. Everything is Legolas. (I had no idea what to put)  
long black hair, and green eyes

**Shadow08**: TRIPLETS! Ah what a joy for everyone! #1 Is goth. # 3 is quiet. #2. Scatter brained and nuts.  
#1. Blue eyes and long black hair, Earane Lossehelin for the Legolas fanfgirl

#2. long black hair, and blue eyes, Lessien Lossehelin for the Haldir,

#3. long black hair, and blue eyes Idril Lossehelin as the youngest of the triplets and as the fangirl for the Elladan.

**Princess of Rain: Can talk a person to death. Loves loves loves loves her coffee. Is hyper all the time and a bit jittery.  
Layered dark blonde hair with all colors of natural highlights. Brown eyes mixed with hazel. About five feet two and a half inches tall. **

**Sexy Read Head: **Likes to talk abut herself at times. Needs to have her cheese at all times. Never drinks anything except soda and water. (As you can see we need to update this a little)  
Oh, I have straight, medium-length auburn hair, bluish greyish eyes, and freckles. I'm 5'6" and of athletic build

**Be wary f Squirrels: **Loves to laugh and throws carrots at people who try to eat HER rice. (I am on low blood sugar here) Stares into space a lot giving her that intelligent or just plain weird look.  
( I need an image or I pick one for you.)  
**  
ale- black: **Loves to listen to BANDS SUCH AS Nirvana. Usually found with her head phones on. Is immature and has really bad luck.  
( Image for me or I have to choose for you)

**Lady Alyafaelyn: **Loves her pastries and usually always has one near her. Is random, and plays with pocket knives. Ohhhh shiny.  
( Image is needed or I have to choose for you)

**Azerinna**: Loves to sing. Could break out into song at any moment.  
( I need more for personality, and I need an image or I have to choose for you)

**RMC: **Loves her star bucks. Loves sharp pointy objects…A maniac we have in the house! Loves her music.  
( Image is needed or I have to choose for you)

**Randirien**: Thinks the Beatles are awesome! Loves the twins to death but she can only have one! Oh how will a girl ever choose between the two?  
( Image is needed or I have to choose for you)

**The Phantoms bride: **Belongs to many other fandoms and is a wacko. I wouldn't be surprised if she had escaped from the Psycho ward.  
( Image is needed or I will have to pick for you)

**This list should also show if you have been accepted as a fan girl or not. Thank you one and all again and please give me ideas for what we can do on the show. They are always appreciated.  
Until next time Duckies. TALLY HO THE FOX!**


	10. Meet the Fan Girls

**Ch. 10. Meet the Fan Girls **

Adriana smiled as she picked up her forms. She had successfully reviewed all the fan girls and smiled a little about it. She was now off with Quinn to check on her elves and fan girls. So she grabbed her very large soda and walked down to the safe house err I mean suite the guys were in. Quinn was at the door waiting for her.

"So what exactly are we suppose to do?" asked Quinn  
"We're going to make sure they get to the show that's all. Oh and stand back. I have to shock the door." said Adriana. Quinn looked at her strangely but Adriana just pressed a button and an electric shock pulsated through the door. Someone on the other screamed and fell down to the floor.  
"Ohhhh I see." said Quinn as the women unlocked and opened the door. There on the floor was a very shocked Elladen.

"Have a nice shock Elladen?" asked Quinn sweetly. Elladen mumbled something unintelligible. Adriana just rolled her eyes and walked around the elf.  
"So how is everyone feeling this morning?" asked Adriana drinking her coke.  
"Erm fine…Ms. Uh-" started Glorfindel  
"Fitch duckie. It's Fitch." replied Adriana "The woman who now owns you."  
"You don't own us!" exclaimed Haldir. Adriana raised an eyebrow at him.  
"Quinn you didn't tell them?" she asked  
"I haven't gotten the chance to." replied Quinn longing in a chair.  
"Tell us what?" asked Legolas  
"Well dearie. Since you singed a contract to be on my show I now own you. Don't worry though you MIGHT be free to go at the end." said Adriana  
"Might?" asked Orophin  
"Yes might. Now I suggest you all get prepared. Today you get to meet the contestants who love you." said Adriana  
"In other terms she means obsesses over you." said Quinn  
"Oh well we'll have to wait and see." said Adriana smirking. "Oh and Legolas I suggest you be prepared to be attacked. So tah my duckies! Fredrick and the others will be here soon to take you to location." Adriana smiled and walked out with Quinn.

"Do you still think she's a nice person Elladen?" asked Haldir referring to Adriana.  
"Absoulutely not." mumbled the elf who was now out of shock.  
"We have to get out of here." stated Legolas  
"Yes we do but how?" asked Rumil  
"Maybe when they take us out to go where ever we're going we can escape." suggested Orophin  
"That could work but something tells me that there is more to that then it seems." stated Elrohir  
"I agree with Elrohir." said Haldir

"Whatever it may be we have to get away. I am not staying here if there are going to be attacked by fan girls." muttered Legolas  
"You get attacked all the time Legolas." stated Elladen "Your use to it." He smirked.  
"Oh shut it." muttered Legolas.  
"Be quiet both of you I think someone is talking outside." whispered Glorfindel leaning against the door. Of course no one bothered to lean against the door especially Elladen.

"NO! DAMN IT! I TOLD GRRRRR…CARSON DON'T MAKE ME FIRE YOU!" yelled a voice that was definitely Adriana's.  
"I NEED TWO MANSIONS! NOT ONE TWO!…WELL AS MUCH AS IT WOULD ADD MORE DRAMA IF EVERYONE WAS IN THE SAME HOUSE I DON'T THINK IT WOULD BODE WELL WITH THE ELVES!…WELL I DON'T CARE IF YOU HAVE TO SELL ALL YOUR FAMILY HEIRLOOMS YOU WILL MAKE SURE I HAVE A SECOND MANSION AND IF NOT….I might consider this as a good idea BUT GET ME A SECOND MANSION!" and with that Adriana stopped yelling into her cell-phone.  
"BACK AWAY FROM DOOR GLORFINDEL!" she yelled. Glorfindel and the others moved away from the door. Adriana whipped out her remote and pressed a pink button.  
"Have fun sniffing strawberries and roses duckies." said Adriana in fake cheer as a pinkish gas came floating into the room.

"Oh No. Not again." muttered Legolas before he was knocked out cold. Adriana and Quinn waited until all the elves were knocked out before sucking the rest of the gas away and entering the room.

"Ok gentlemen bring my elves to their new home. Make sure they don't escape!" yelled Adriana as several strong men walked in with crates of Sea Pickles. Quinn looked at some of them smiling a little. Adriana rolled her eyes.  
"No they are not going to be your newest boy toys." she stated. Quinn pouted a little but nodded anyways.  
"So what color do you think I should change my hair to?" she asked Adriana  
"I think the pink is good but it's your decision. I have to go check on the fan girls. Want to come?" asked Adriana  
"Sure why not." said Quinn with a shrug and the two walked down the hallway up some stairs through an elevator to the 54th floor.

"Security clearance please." stated a computer voice when they reached the floor level.  
" 6130 Charlie." stated Adriana  
"Please place hand on the scanner." stated the voice. Adriana did so.  
"Welcome to the 54th floor Ms. Fitch." said the voice as the elevator opened.  
"Thank you Patsy." said Adriana walking through the door with Quinn.  
"Patsy?" asked Quinn "Does that stand for something?"  
"No. I just thought it would be a interesting idea to name my computer Patsy." said Adriana "Ah the Legolas fan girls. Brace yourselves some of these girls are rather…err hyper."

"What is your security Clearance?" asked the computer. Adriana sighed and glared at the computer.  
"Rainbow Monkey Cutie Cuddly Bear." said Adriana disgusted.  
"You may enter." said the voice.  
"Who chose that?" asked Quinn  
"A fan girl." muttered Adriana opening the door and walking in with Quinn. What they were greeted with was not uncommon.

Fan girls were packing up there things to get ready to be transferred to their new location. When they saw Adriana walk in they stopped and looked around.

"Is Legolas here?" asked one girl.  
"No Ashley he is not." stated Adriana  
"No! He's suppose to be here! I mean we are his fan girls we deserve to meet him. I want Legolas. Do you know when he'll get here? Can I have him for myself? When can I meet him? Do you think he'd like me, Does this skirt flatter me? I need to look my best for Legolas. Why are you here? Can we move now? I'm ready to go!-"  
"ASHLEY!" yelled Adriana.  
"Yes?" asked Ashley  
"Calm yourself. Now to the rest of you." said Adriana "I need to make sure your all here." Adriana pulled out a clipboard and began to read names.

"Hannah?"  
"Here."  
"Melaina?"  
"HERE!" yelled Melaina jumping up and down.  
"Oh god." muttered Adriana " Ea Crenella?"  
"WHO ATE MY CHEESE!" screamed a voice.  
"Okkkkkk she's here." muttered Adriana "Kathleen Nightly?"  
" I am here!" cried Kathleen in a sing song voice and then dancing a little.  
"Err right." stated Adriana "Serenity?"  
"Here." stated the calm voice.  
"Aright. Sahairah?" asked Adriana  
"Yo." called Sahairah from the window eating some cheese.  
"YOUR EATING MY CHEESE!" screeched Ea Crenella.  
"I am not!" retorted Sahairah  
"GIVE ME MY CHEESE!" yelled Ea Crenella  
"NO!" yelled Sahairah. Adriana's eye twitched al little.  
"SHUT UP BEFORE I CALL SECURITY!" she yelled. The two girls stared at her and sat down.

"Now Aranel Uhaminar?" asked Adriana. No answer. "ARANEL UHAMINAR!"  
"OH SING A HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY SONG!" screamed someone.  
"Great. Earane Lossehelin?" asked Adriana checking off Aranel.  
"HERE!" yelled Earane. Adriana rubbed her ear.  
"I'm right here Earane. No need to shout in my ear." she stated  
"I know." said Earane smiling. Adrina rolled her eyes and continued.  
"Rachel?" asked Adriana checking off Earane but there was no answer. Adriana looked up and looked around. "RACHEL!"  
"SHUT IT I'M TALKING TO MY CRAYON BOX!" yelled a voice from one of the rooms. Adriana grinded her teeth and marked her as here.  
"Well now that all know you're here and not in the Psycho ward I'll be leaving for the next group." said Adriana "Thank god it's a smaller group."  
"CRAYONS RULE!" yelled Rachel. Adriana groaned and walked out with Quinn.

"Now we get to see Haldir's Fan Girls." muttered Adriana walking up to the door next door.  
"Security clearance please." said the computer voice.  
"Molly McDermis Patterson." stated Adriana  
"A rag doll?" asked Quinn  
"Just forget it." muttered Adriana and she walked into the room. It was a lot quieter. Quinn slouched into a chair but jumped up in surprise and screamed when she saw a squirrel on the chair.

"DON'T HURT MY CUDDLY BEAR!" yelled a girl rushing towards the squirrel. "How dare you sit on Rodger!" Quinn just stared at the women in disbelief.  
"Hello Lindsey." said Adriana checking her off as here.  
"Don't worry Rodger that mean old lady will never hurt you again." said Lindsey to her squirrel.  
"OLD LADY!" screeched Quinn  
"Now now now Quinn you wouldn't want to provoke her rats now would you?" asked Adriana looking at a cage on the others side of the room.  
"Now let's see who else is here." said Adriana looking at her list. "Feandil Elenisill?"  
"Here." said Feanil sucking down another pastry.  
"Charley Kingsford?" asked Adriana  
"Down here." said a voice. Adriana looked down and saw a cat looking up at her.  
"Holy shit!" yelled Quinn  
"Charley I told you not to change into anything like a cat. Now go back to normal." said Adriana. The cat pouted for a moment and then sprang up into her human form. Quinn was ready to faint.

"She's a changeling Quinn don't worry about it." said Adriana checking off Charley. "Ok Lessien Lossehelin?"  
"Here." said a quiet voice. Adriana smiled gently at the girl.  
"Alright. Samantha?" she asked  
"YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME ALIVE COPPERS!" screamed a girl running through the living room.  
"Sam is here." said Charley.  
"I can see that." stated Adriana as she watched the girl run around the living room. "Be prepared to leave in a little bit ladies." Everyone nodded and went back to business. Quinn came out of the room looking pale.

"Did you have to put all the loonies in one group?" she asked Adriana.  
"I didn't but I put in a lot." replied Adriana "Now for Elladen and Elrohir."  
"You combined them?' asked Quinn  
"But if course." said Adriana walking up to the security thing.  
"Super Sexy hot elves at your service."  
"You may enter." said the computer voice and the two girls entered.

"Alright ladies time to see if your all here!" yelled Adriana "Isis Lynn?"  
"HERE! OHHH MY HORROR FICK IS ON!" she yelled and ran to the TV.  
"Err right Randirien?" asked Adriana. A girl came out with a set of head phones on singing:  
"We all live in a yellow submarine."  
"Ok Beatle Fanatic Randy is here." said Adriana (Do you mind if I call you Randy?)  
"Ok Raven Sea Worth?" asked Adriana. A girl dressed in all black came out.  
"Here." she hissed backing away from the light. Quinn looked at the girl and backed away.  
"Star McMasters?" asked Adriana  
"HELLO!" said the bubbly girl with blonde hair. Quinn stared at her in disbelief.  
"She's a Mary Sue." she hissed to Adriana  
"Don't worry about it. I'll make sure she's voted off first." said Adriana "Ok Claire Sea Worth?"

"HIYA!" said a cheerleader. She was voted most spirited. Quinn wanted to gag now.  
"Not so loud or I make that cheerleading outfit of yours food for my demons." hissed Raven. Claire backed away from her twin sister and sat down on a couch.  
"Let's see Valerie Gormack?" asked Adriana.  
"RIGHT ON! RIGHT ON! RIGHT ON! RIGHT ON! OH YEAH!" yelled Valeria screaming into her hairbrush with a pair of headphones on. Everyone covered their ears at her horrid singing.  
"Casey Bindle?" called Adriana. A girl came out eating peanut butter.  
"Mmyesmm." she mumbled with her mouth full of peanut butter. Adriana sighed and turned back to her list.

"Dorinda Pitchnicks?" asked Adriana  
"IT'S NOT THE RIGHT SAUCE DAMN IT! DON'T THEY KNOW THAT BELLA LOUISA IS ITAILIAN NOT CHINESE!" yelled a young women.  
"Anger management." said Adriana to Quinn. Who just nodded.  
"Alright Alexa?" asked Adriana. A scream and a loud thump indicated Alexa was alive.  
"Are you ok Alexa?" asked Adriana not even glancing up from her clipboard.  
"Yeah! I just tripped, hit my foot on my bed, and landed on a book. I am absolutely fine." said Alexa.  
"That's nice." mused Adriana not taking note of her sarcastic tone. "Idril Lossehelin?"  
"Here." said a voice next to Raven.  
"Aww my two goth girls. Have fun torturing people." said Adriana walking out with Quinn.

"Are you nuts!" yelled Quinn

"Maybe.' said Adriana with a smirk. "Stop worrying about the Fan Girls Quinn I know you'll make sure they are crazy." Adriana then walked to the next room.  
"Glorfindel." she mused. "This is going to be so much fun."  
"My Sexiness beats yours." said Adriana  
"How do you remember all these?" asked Quinn. Adriana shrugged and walked in.

"Alright let's get this over with." shouted Adriana "Katie Winslet?"  
"Howdy ya'll." called the girl with a black cowboy hat on.  
"Nebula?" asked Adriana checking off Kaite.  
"NOT NOW I HAVE TO DEFEND THE GALAXY FROM SPACE ALIENS!" yelled a voice form another room.  
"She thinks she's from a different Galaxy and is a commander of her own fleet. It's really quite fascinating." said Adriana "Luna Bewitched?"  
"Up here." said a voice. The two women looked up and saw a girl on a broomstick stroking her black cat.  
"Good to see you Luna." said Adriana checking her off. "Oh God…Sexy Bubbly?" A girl with a mini skirt and baby tee with the words: Daddy's Little Girl on the front walked out.  
"I'm here." she said.  
"Oh how we missed you." said Adriana in fake cheer. "Lessien Elensar?"  
"She's by the window." said Sexy. "The one staring off into space." Adriana glanced at the window and saw a girl eating rice and staring off into space.  
"Alrighty then. Next room." said Adriana to Quinn.

"Timed Gate of Craziness." said Adriana stepping into the Orophin and Rumil room.  
"Alright I want this quick I have things to do and you people are slowing me down." said Adriana  
"Stacy Handcock?"  
"Here! OH MY GOD IT'S A PIC OF OROPHIN!" Adriana rolled her eyes and moved on.  
"Paris Van Starton?"  
"BUT DADDY! YOU HAVE TO MAKE SURE I WIN!" yelled the rich heiress. Yes rich heiress. She was talking on her cell-phone to her dad. Adriana just ignored her and continued.  
"Cathy Smartass?"  
"HERE! AND I AM NOT A SMARTASS!" yelled the girl.  
"I highly doubt that." said Adriana " Sunshine Rainbow Star?"  
"It's all good…We must earn to live in love and peace." said the hippie girl.  
"Uh huh that's lovely Sunshine. Brittney McAlister?" asked Adriana  
"I DRINK WITH MY WHISKEY AND SING ALL MY SONGS! THE LUCK OF THE IRISH IS IN MY PALM!" yelled the red head.  
"Is she really Irish?" asked Quinn  
"I don't think so. Lorlinda Venus?" asked Adriana  
"I worship you goddess of Love and Beauty." said a girl bowing down to a statue of Aphrodite. "Should I get the face lift done or not?" Quinn and Adriana backed away from the girl and looked back at the list.

"Elizabeth Richmond?" asked Adriana  
"What did my father tell you? It's always Elizabeth Amelia Bernice Richmond when I am introduced to someone or called for in roll call." said the other rich heiress. Adriana's eyebrow twitched and she gripped the clipboard hard.  
"Quinn remind me to make sure the heiresses are given the most hardest and dirtiest tasks imaginable." muttered Adriana  
"Will do." said Quinn  
" Aria Smith?" asked Adriana  
"IT'S BABY DOLL!" yelled the young women. Adriana sighed and continued.  
"Diana Diaz?" she asked  
"PEDRO GET ME ANOTHER TACO PRONTO!" yelled a young Latina.  
"Candy Ackerman?" asked Adriana ignoring Diana.  
"I WANT A LOLLYPOP!" screeched the girl with pigtails. Adriana groaned in frustration and rushed out the door with Quinn.

"Now only one remains." said Adriana  
"One?" asked Quinn  
"Yes one." said Adriana walking up to a door and saying: "Music is my Boyfriend."  
"Rachel are you in here?" asked Adriana  
"COFFEE! WHERE IS MY COFFEE? YOU PROMISED ME COFFEE?" screeched the girl.  
"Don't worry Rachel it's on the way and all your CD's are coming as well." said Adriana  
"When do I get to see Celeborn or Thranduil?" asked the girl.  
"When they come by for a visit which I am sure they will. Now go play with nice pointy object." said Adriana handing the girl as pcoket knife.  
"Ohhhhh shiny." said the girl mystified. Adriana and Quinn left the room and walked out of the hallway.

"You have some crazy fan girls." said Quinn  
"I know…Isn't it wonderful!" said Adriana happily. Quinn thought otherwise but simply followed her boss back to the studio where all the preparations were being made and the torture err I mean fun would begin.

**A/N: Well there is another chapter…That was a lot of work. I need a cookie now. LOL. Um anyways here's the fan girl descriptions again. Some are complete others aren't. Tell me what you think. I have decided as a personal note that I will not be bale to personally write back to you all. But I do appreciate the reviews.  
**  
**Personaility/Image**  
**Milla J: **Tough girl, Carries daggers around her personage. Loves to kick Mary Sue ass  
Black hair, brown eyes

**The White Masque: **Smart and quiet. But when she get's hold of her Pepsi or see's Legolas she goes crazy.  
5"3' with brown hair and blond streakes in it. I have hazel brown eyes and used to wear glasses, but now wear contacts. I have a fair (pale) complexion and usually wear jeans, a shirt, and sandles.

**Dreadlock pencil: Random. **Very very very random. Loves to talk to inanimate objects and loves to get high of Jolly Ranchers.  
Dark skin, not black, but just dark. Not tanned, I'm part Afghanistan-ish. Anyhow, I've got really dark brown eyes, black hair, straight and a little past my shoulders. I'm short, about 5' 2". I have glasses, and they're purple. Uh... I wear green nailpolish. Neon green.

**My dear Delirious:** Fangirl Pah! What fan girl? We see a normal girl who likes martial arts and horror. Has a short attention for the world around at her times.  
5,5 with long brown hair, pale complextion and dark blue eyes.  
(I will most likely use your confessional idea. I think it rocks.)

**Inwepirate elf:** Bubbly. Not an air head (unless you want to be) Random at times. Loves to sing and dance a lot. Can quote movies.  
I have dark brown hair shoulder length with blue/green eyes and tanish/light skin and a curvy yet skinny body and about 5' 5".

**Legolas fan:** I see lots of smiles. Calm at times but very hyper as well.  
Height:5'4  
Hair:Medium length and very dark brown.  
Eyes:Also brown.

**Legolas Fan #2:** Very tall. Can't live without Haldir and can apparently change into anything she wants.  
Brown hair and hazel eyes. ( Um dark brown**)  
**

**Kabuki 733701:** Not absoulute Fan girl type. Screams Wheeeeee! And loves her cheese!  
5'6", redish brown hair and brown eyes!

**Tathelia: **Appears calm and intelectual at times. But then here she comes with her squirrel in one arm and her cage of rats in the other!  
5'6" shoulder length brown hair, blue eyes, (Haldir)

**Gi Xian: **Loves loves loves loves loves LEGOLAS. Everything is Legolas. i love rainbow drops as well, and strawberry lolly pops  
long black hair, and green eyes

**Shadow08**: TRIPLETS! Ah what a joy for everyone! #3 Is goth. # 2 is quiet. #1. Scatter brained and nuts.  
#1. Blue eyes and long black hair, Earane Lossehelin for the Legolas fanfgirl

#2. long black hair, and blue eyes, Lessien Lossehelin for the Haldir,

#3. long black hair, and blue eyes Idril Lossehelin as the youngest of the triplets and as the fangirl for the Elladan.

**Princess of Rain:** Can talk a person to death. Loves loves loves loves her coffee. Is hyper all the time and a bit jittery.  
Layered dark blonde hair with all colors of natural highlights. Brown eyes mixed with hazel. About five feet two and a half inches tall. And I think thats all unless you want something else.

**Sexy Read Head: **Likes to talk abut herself at times. Needs to have her cheese at all times. Never drinks anything except soda and water. (As you can see we need to update this a little)  
Oh, I have straight, medium-length auburn hair, bluish greyish eyes, and freckles. I'm 5'6" and of athletic build

**Be wary f Squirrels: **Loves to laugh and throws carrots at people who try to eat HER rice. (I am on low blood sugar here) Stares into space a lot giving her that intelligent or just plain weird look.  
( I need an image or I pick one for you.)  
**  
ale- black: **Loves to listen to BANDS SUCH AS Nirvania. Usually found with her head phones on. Is immature and has really bad luck.  
( Image for me or I have to choose for you)

**Lady Alyafaelyn: **Loves her pastries and usually always has one near her. Is random, and plays with pocket knives. Ohhhh shiny.  
5'8", green eyes, waist length black hair. Very flexable and will fight for pastries

**Azerinna:** Loves to sing. Could break out into song at any moment. Is sarcastic and listens well.  
have curly dark dark brown hair

**RMC:** Loves her star bucks. Loves sharp pointy objects…A maniac we have in the house! Loves her music.  
( Image is needed or I have to choose for you

**Randirien:** Thinks the beatles are awesome! Loves the twins to death but she can only have one! Oh how will a girl ever choose between the two? I have long, reddish-brown hair and brown eyes, glasses, and I'm about 5ft 2. You can change any of that to fit your purpose.

**The Phantoms bride: **Belongs to many other fandoms and is a wacko. I wouldn't be surprised if she had escaped from the Psycho ward.  
alright I am 5ft 6in, with long reddish hair that fades to brown, skinny and pale with dark eyes.

**I could also use any ideas anyone has. It would be most wonderfully appreciated. Until next time Duckies.  
TALLY HO THE FOX! **


	11. Let the Craziness Begin!

**Ch 11. Let the Craziness Begin!**

"Alright let's move it people!" yelled Quinn. Everyone was ready to start filming How to Catch an Elf. She was yelling out orders and getting ready and set.  
"Ms. Demeter! The elves are in place." said Carson  
"Oh good were they any trouble?" asked Quinn walking out to see.  
"Well erm just a little bit." said Carson. Quinn looked up and saw each elf tried to a pole and struggling for their life. Quinn sighed,  
"I guess Ms. Fitch will be needed for this after all." she mused and pulled out a walkie- talkie "Ms. Fitch would you care to come down and see the show."  
"Already on my way." Adriana groaned.  
"What's wrong?" asked Quinn  
"I have another Fan Girl." muttered Adriana "For Glorfindel."  
"Ohhhh wonderful." muttered Quinn "What's her name?" "  
"Lothlorien13." replied Adriana  
"Is that like a code name?" asked Quinn  
"I guess. She won't tell me her real one. DON'T TOUCH THAT!" yelled Adriana "Grrrrr Quinn I'll be there in a bit. Make this show happen!"  
"Rodger Dodger." replied Quinn  
"Don't call be DODGER!" yelled Adriana and the radio was turned off.

"Touche." muttered Quinn. "Alright people listen up! We have a new fan girl coming for Glorfindel! Make sure it works out! So hurry your butts up!" Everyone began to scramble. The camera guys and the lighting was ready. Everyone was ready and set to go.

"Ms. Demeter! We need to get you in makeup." said Carson and he led her away to the makeup area. Where she was made up to not look hideous…NOT THAT SHE WAS! (Author hopes she isn't fired)  
"Ms. Demeter today is just for introductions." said Carson "We beg you not to go and try to hurt someone…yet." Quinn smirked a little but nodded.  
"Ajeet! Do not move!" said the French accent makeup artist Pierre.  
"Sorry Pierre." muttered Quinn and the process began once again.

Adriana sighed as she walked onto the set. A gated one. With an electric fence and spikes on the tips of the fence.  
"What is this a prison or a set piece?" asked Lothlorien13. Adriana didn't answer the question as the gate opened and she walked up to the first house where the Fan Girls would be located.  
"Milla! My friend, my idea giver, my bodyguard." said Adriana walking up to the girl.  
"Yes Adriana?" asked Milla reviewing some paper work.  
"Could you please get this girl to the others." begged Adriana  
"You don't want to see any more fan girls right now do you?" asked Milla with a smirk.  
"No! Ya think?" asked Adriana "So take her to the others. I have to go speak with Quinn."  
"No problem come along.." Milla looked at her clipboard. "Emily."  
"It's Lothlorien13. That's my codename!" yelled the girl. Adriana sighed in relief as she watched Milla take the girl away.

"ALRIGHT! WHOSE READY FOR A SHOW!" yelled the soda obsessed producer. Everyone cheered signaling that they were ready.  
"Ok Let's go! Move it! Move it!" yelled Adriana as everyone scrambled to get ready. She walked on set with Quinn up to the elves.

"If any of you try to run away I will make sure you are hunted down." said Adriana with a smile and then the elves were untied. They glared at Adriana and Quinn but the two women ignored them and just smiled. Adriana got off the stage and watched from behind the cameras.  
"Alright and we'll begin in 5..4...3..2..1...ACTION!" yelled someone.

"Hello to all our viewers welcome to the show How to Catch an Elf! Where these seven men shall try to find the women of their dreams! So first let's meet the contestants for each elf! First up is all the lovely ladies for Legolas!" Quinn looked at Legolas and when he didn't move closer she grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him next to her. "Smile or I make you kiss an Orc."  
"Ewww! That means I would have to kiss you." said Legolas. Quinn glared at the elf.  
"Your going to regret that." muttered Quinn then she out on a fake smile

"Bring out the Fan Girls!" she yelled. The gates at the end of the driveway opened and a group of girls came up the walkway. At first everything was calm and all then the girls saw Legolas.  
"OH MY GOSH IT'S LEGOLAS!" yelled Ashley and then everything went crazy. The girls ran to Legolas screaming and knocking over Bob, on the camera dudes. Legolas ran away from the girls and hid behind Adriana.  
"SECURITY!" yelled the crazed producer as she saw the fan girls heading to her. A group of ex pro wrestlers and some others came and grabbed the girls.  
"What should we do with them Adriana?" asked Milla  
"Lock them up in their rooms inside the mansion!" yelled Adriana pushing Legolas out from behind her.  
"Alright you heard the women move um out!" yelled Milla. Adriana sighed and pushed Legolas back to the stage area.  
"Are you ok Ms. Fitch?" asked Grace  
"Yes yes I'm fine just get me a coke!" yelled Adriana. Grace nodded and handed her one.  
"Thank you Grace." said Adriana  
"Your welcome." replied Grace  
"Alright move on people!" yelled Adriana

"Alright well that was…interesting." said Quinn "Alright well next bachelor please. Ah Haldir your next!" Haldir wouldn't move though. Quinn glared at him and moved the microphone away from her mouth.  
"If you don't get up here right now I'll make you kiss one of your fan girls!" she hissed. Haldir hesitantly walked over Quinn and stood beside her.  
"Ok let's see who our next group is shall we?" asked Quinn motioning to the gates. A group of five girls came out. They looked normal alright but when Haldir saw that one girl had a cage full of rats and a squirrel on her shoulder he was begging to have doubts that he would survive this encounter.  
"OH MY GOD IT'S A PASTRY!" yelled a girl and ran straight to the donuts.

"Milla please get her away from donuts." hissed Quinn. Milla nodded and handed the girl one pastry and put her with the rest of the group. Haldir remained completely calm or at least that's how he looked on the outside but it was a completely different story on the inside.  
"Alright let's introduce you to your Fan girls Haldir." said Quinn with fake glee. "The girl with the pet squirrel is-"  
"His name is Rodger!" shrieked the girl.  
"Oh yeah Rodger." said Quinn "Anyways this is Lindsey.." Quinn leaned over to him and muttered "Be nice and shake her hand or something."  
"Nice to meet you Lindsey." said Haldir. Lindsey gave him a hurt look. "Oh and of course Rodger." and he shook her hand.  
"Alright the pastry loving fiend is-"  
"AH! HALDIR!" yelled the girl and tackled Haldir in a hug.  
"Feandil Elensill." said Quinn " SECURITY!" Milla quickly came up and pried Feandil off of Haldir. Haldir backed away from the girl and stood closer to Quinn this time. Using her as a shield somewhat.

"Alright our next fan girl is Samantha." said Quinn trying to move Haldir away from her. That plan wasn't working to well.  
"Hi I'm SAMANTHA!" yelled the girl. Quinn finally got Haldir out from behind her so he had to face Samantha.  
"Errr Hello Samantha." said Haldir shaking her hand. Smanthat just smiled and moved out of the way when it wasn't her turn any longer. Quinn raised an eyebrow. That didn't seem Sam like at all but at the moment she didn't care and moved on. She looked around for the next fan girl.  
"Alright where's Charley?" she asked.  
"Up here." said a voice. Everyone looked up into a tree and saw a white bird sitting on a perch.  
"Hi." it said. Haldir's eyes widened.  
"Haldir meet Charley she's a changeling." said Quinn. Hakdir looked at Quinn, screamed, and then fainted. Quinn sighed.  
"SECURITY!" she yelled. The security guards took the fan girls away and Charley went back to original form and was also taken away. Haldir was moved out of the way.

"Alright our next victum I mean Bachelor is Glorfindel." said Quinn watching the elves making his way slowly towards Quinn.  
"Alright bring um out!" yelled Quinn.

"YEEHAW!" yelled a girl with a lasso. "I'm gonna rope me an Elf!" Glorfindel quickly hid behind Quinn who was then hit with the lasso. She grabbed pulled it hard and threw it over her shoulder elsewhere.  
"Glorfindel meet Katie Winslet. Your first Fan girl." said Quinn pushing the elf towards the cowgirl.  
"Howdy." said Katie tipping her hat and shaking Glorfindel's hand.  
"DIE ALIEN SCUM DIE!" yelled a girl running around with a fake blaster toy.  
"Ah that would be Nebula." said Quinn looking at Glorfindel's shocked expression. "Anyways since Nebula seems to be killing space Aliens let's move on!"

"Where is Luna Bewitched?" asked Quinn  
"Up here." said a voice. Everyone looked up and saw a girl flying on a broomstick. "Hi Glorfindel." Glrofindel almost dropped dead to the ground.  
"Alright Luna you can come down now." said Quinn " Oh god….Erm Sexy Bubbly." Glorfindel looked at the next girl he was to meet. She had a very curvaceous body, and her items of supposed clothing left nothing to the imagination. The guys mouths all fell open at the sight of her. Sexy smiled seductively and kissed Glorfindel on the cheek.  
"Maybe next time we can go for more." she whispered in his ear smiling. Glorfindel didn't say anything. He just looked at her with a stunned expression.  
"Close your mouth you don't want to catch any flies." said Quinn rolling her eyes in disgust. Glorfindel glared at her and closed his mouth.  
"Alright! Next we have Lessian Elenser." said Quinn. Glorfindel looked around and saw a girl staring off into space. She didn't say anything and just smiled at Glorfindel when she saw him.

"Ok and that's all of your fan girls Glorfindel! Now onto Elrohir!" yelled Quinn. Elrohir walked up to Quinn as the other fan girls were taken away and a new batch was brought in.  
"Ok first up we have Raven Sea-Worth." said Quinn motioning to a girl with all balck on.  
"Hello Raven." said Elrohir  
"Hello." she replied but didn't shake his hand.  
"Next we have Dorinda Pitchnicks." said Quinn

"WHAT ARE YOU ALL STARING AT? IS SOEMTHING WRONG WITH ME! HUH HUH HUH!" yelled the girl.  
"Anger management." Quinn whispered to Elrohir "Alright next we have Star McMasters!"  
"HIYA I'M STAR AND YOUR ELROHIR! OH YOU ARE SOOOOOO CUTE!" giggled the girl. Elrhoir just nodded.  
"Alright next we have Isis Lynn." said Quinn  
"Hello." said Isis  
"Hello." replied Elrohir shaking her hand.  
"Oh goodie you actual think she is normal." said Quinn "Next! Ah Rabdarien." Elrhoir looked at the new fan girl. She had on an: I love the Beatles t-shirt and glasses. She seemed relatively normal but you never know.  
"Hello Randarien." said Elrohir shaking her hand.  
"Hi." she said smiling and blushing a little. Quinn made a disgusted face and split the two apart.

"Ok Now onto Elladen!" she yelled. She pushed Elrhoir aside and pulled up Elladen. "Your first Fan Girl is Casey Bindle." Casey waved eating peanut butter. " Valerie Gormack." Everyone looked at a girl with a pair of headphones on. She just continued to ignore them all as she listened to her music. Quinn sighed and yanked the girls headphones off.  
"AHHHHHH MY MUSIC IT IS GONE! I'M MELTING!" cried Valerie.  
"Quinn give her back the headphones!" yelled Adriana. Quinn twitched a bit before she jammed the phones back on the girls head.  
"YEAH!" cried the musically obsessed girl. Quinn sighed.  
"Then we have Idril Lossehelin." she said. A girl in all black came up and shook Elladen's hand.  
"Hello." she said  
"Hello Idril." replied Elladen trying to be polite. Idril let go of his hand and walked off to the stand with the others.  
"Alright Alexa?" asked Quinn.  
"Hello-" started Alexa then she tripped and fell on Quinn who knocked over Elladen who knocked over Glorfindel and all the others elves that were standing in a line.

"I'm Ok!" yelled Alexa standing up. Everyone groaned and slowly moved up. Quinn pushed Alexa out of the way and tried to fix her hair quickly.  
"Thank you Alexa." said Quinn "Alright Elladen your done!" Quinn pushed the elf away and she grabbed her next victim I mean bachelor for the show. Which

"Ok Rumil are you ready to meet your fan girls?" asked Quinn  
"No!" replied Rumil  
"Well to bad because here they come!" yelled Quinn. Rumil treid ti run for hit but Quinn grabbed him by the writs and whispered "If you leave right now I swear to Bob you will die." Rumil looked at Quinn and knew she was dead serious so he turned around and looked back at the fan girls.

"The first Fan girl is Lorlinda Venus." said Quinn  
"ALL HAIL THE GODDESS OF LOVE AND BEAUTY!" yelled the girl.  
"That's nice Lorlinda. Um next is Elizabeth Richmond." said Quinn  
"HOW MANY TIMES MUST I TELL YOU PEOPLE!" yelled the girl "IT'S Elizabeth Amelia Bernice Richmond in public! My daddy is going to hear about this! You swags!" yelled the girl. Quinn resisted the urge to strangle the girl and moved on:  
"Next is Aria Smith." said Quinn  
"HOW MANY TIMES MUST I TELL YOU PEOPLE! IT'S BABY DOLL!" yelled the girl. Quinn muttered some none to pleasant things under her breathe and continued.  
"Diana Diaz." she stated simply gesturing to a girl.  
"Hi." she stated simply and then began to eat a taco.  
"Candy Ackerman." stated Quinn  
"LOLLYPOP!" yelled the gir grabbing a lollypop that was on the ground and then beginning to suck on it. Quinn made a gagging noise and wanted to hurl.

"SECURITY! Take them to their house!" yelled Quinn pushing Rumil away and grabbing Orophin.  
"Oh lucky you your last!" declared Quinn "Bring out the girls!" A group of girls walked up to them.  
"Alright Orophin first up to meet is Stacy Handcock." said Quinn  
"OH MY GOD IT'S OROPHIN!" yelled the girl tackling Orophin in a hug. Orophin screamed in surprises and tried to get the girl off of him.  
"HEY GET OFF MY MAN STACY!" yelled Cathy Smartass.  
"HELL NO!" yelled Stacy.  
"THAT'S IT YOUR GOING DOWN!" yelled Cathy and tackled Stacy and began to fight her. Poor Orophin of course could do nothing since he was under them both and was trying to get away.  
"We must all learn to live in the tranquility known as Peace." said Sunshine Rainbow Star  
"Forget all that I'm going to get me a man!" yelled Brittney laughing herself onto the Pile and joining the fight. Paris Van Starton just looked at her nails and said:  
"I'm not going to fight I might break a nail." she said.

Quinn glared at them all. "SECURITY!" she yelled and the security team began to take the girls away while Orophin backed away into a corner scared for his life. Quinn just shook her head and said:  
"So now that you've met our contestants tune in next time to see what really goes on behind closed doors." said Quinn to the camera before some of the set fell down. Everyone was silent for a moment.

"Great show everyone!" yelled Adriana "Couldn't have hoped for better!" She clapped a little and then continued to drink her coke. Everyone stared at their boss. With open mouths and scared expressions.  
"What? DO YOU WANT ME TO FIRE YOU ALL! GET BACK TO WORK!" yelled the women. People immediately scrambled about getting things ready for the next show.

**A/N: I am so sorry this took so long. I've been really busy people. Writing just doesn't come as easily in the summer for me and I would actually like to be able to do something over my summer instead of just writing. But I will try I promise! **

Legolas Fan: I'm glad to see you took personal interest in trying to get me to write something. Oh I remember you sending a review about LOTR fan girls going o Middle Earth?…What is it exactly that you wanted again? Sorry I was just asking.

Anyways thank you all for being patient and finally getting this long awaited update.


	12. Craziness in Roommates!

**Ch 12. Craziness in Roommates!**

Quinn grabbed her coffee and chugged it down.  
"Ms. Demeter are you ready to watch how things go in the house?' asked Carson.  
"Yeah yeah lead me away." said the grumpy women. Adriana watched amused as Quinn sat next to her to watch the video monitors.  
"I see your happy about your first day." said Adriana smirking.  
"Don't push me." muttered Quinn as she sat down and watched the monitor.

_**(Inside the mansion) **_

"Ooooo this place is loaded." said Sexy walking around and looking at everything.  
"Do they have an earth garden?" asked Sunshine walking outside.  
"Hippies." muttered Idril walking to the kitchen.  
"Hey there's a chart here that has all our sleeping arrangements." said Rachel (the Tranduil and Celeoborn fan) "Yeah I am all alone! Hahahahahahahahahaha! I WIN!" and she raced off to her room. The rest of the group watched her go before looking at the list.  
"Okkkkkkkkkkkkk." started Raven "I'm with Sunshine, and Paris Von Starton." Raven made a face. "This is not going to go well."  
"OH THEY HAVE A GARDEN!" yelled Sunshine.  
"Why me?" muttered Raven as she walked down the hall to her room.  
"My father is going to hear about this!" exclaimed Paris dialing the number on her cellphone. "DADDY!" she whined and cried into the phone. Sunshine just twirled down the hall to her new room with her things.

"Ok should I be scared now?" asked Luna to her cat, Selena.  
"Oh I think you should be very scared." replied the cat. Everyone looked at the cat in surprise.  
"It can talk!" exclaimed Sexy  
"Apparently IT can talk yes. Oh my name isn't IT little girl it's Selena. Now get away from me before I claw out your eyes!" and the cat hissed for good measure. Sexy immediately backed away as did everyone else.

"Well anyways." said Isis "Lets see who is roomed with who." She picked up the list and began to read it off.  
"Idril Lossehelin, Hannah, and Emily are together."  
"Oh great." muttered Idril looking at Emily and Hannah. She didn't really feel like having roommates.  
"Did you know that Einstein said: Imagination is greater than Intelligence?" asked Hannah to the group. (Mom deares told me that this statement was true)  
"Lothlorien13...Why can't you people get this?" muttered Emily as she, Hannah, and Idril made there way back to their room.  
"Randy or Randirien, Lessian Lossehelin, and Samantha." said Isis.  
"Ooooo….it is shiny and pointy." said Samantha.  
"Valor help me." pleaded Lessian  
"The Beatles give a whole new meaning to life!" declared Randairien walking toward her new room with the others.  
"Next we have Ashley, Earane Lossehelin, and Aranel Uhaminar." said Isis  
"There ain't no mountain high, ain't no valley low enough, aint't no river wide enough to keep me from you!" sang Aranel going to her room.

"OH MY GOD!…It's a piece of paper!" said Earane  
"OH Y GOSH COFFEE! I NEED MORE COFFEE! SOMEONE MAKE MORE COFFEE NEED COFFEE!" exclaimed Ashley bouncing all the way to her room.

"Feandil Elenisil, Charley Kingsford, and Lindsey." Isis read of the clipboard.  
"Come my pets lets go to our new room." said Lindsey talking to her rats and squirrel.  
"Ok…she's weird." said Charley  
"And your not?" asked Feandil, thinking of how Chraley was a changeling.  
"Being a changeling is a gift not a burden." said Charley walking to her room.  
"What have I gotten myself into?" asked Feandil  
"Next room is Lessien Elensarn, Alexa, and Sahairah." said Isis.  
"CHEESE!" exclaimed Sahairah running to her new room.  
"ERG! Keep it dowm I'm trying to listem to my music!" exclaimed Alexa going to her room.  
"Rice is good. Rice is me. My rice is only for me. YEAH GO RICE!" exclaimed Lessien.  
"Ok…next is Ea Crenella, Meliana Thompson, and Serebity." said Isis  
"Does anybody have any rainbow drops?" asked Serenity. Eveyone shook thei head no. "Hmm maybe I have some in my bag." and she walked back to her room.  
"Ooooo cookies!" exclaimed Mel with a big smile.  
"My cheese calls to me!" exclaimed Ea Crenella ( we really need a nickname for you)  
"Um next is Rachel, Kathleen Nightly, and myself." said Isis putting down the clipboard and going to her new room.  
"Llama, llama, llama, duck, pie, llama, llama, funny llama. Lalalalala!" exclaimed Kathleen singing the never ending Llama song. (Ohhh this is absolutely funny…to bad I don't know where to find it)  
"So where do you come from?" asked Rachel "Oh Norway that's cool. I come from the psycho ward." She was talking to a pillow. Hannah stepped up and looked at the list.

"Stacy Handcock and Cathy Smartass are roommates." said Aria  
"OH MY PICTURE OF OROPHIN IS RUINED!" cried Stacy walking to her room.  
"Oh great this os just peachy." muttered Cathy  
"I'm rooming with Candy Ackerman and Diana Diaz." said Aria  
"Does anyone have a Lollypop?" asked Candy

"Mmm this is a great Taco." said Diana  
"Wy me?" asked Aria hitting her head slightly with the clipboard and then walking off to her room.  
"Alright! Next on the list is Sexy Bubbly, Lorlinda Venus, and Elizabeth Richmond." said Dorinda taking over.  
"IT'S ELIZABETH AMELIA BERNICE RICHMOND TO YOU!" yelled Elizabeth walking to her new room. "MY FATHER WILL KNOW OF THIS!"  
"I wonder what Glorfindel will think I look sexy in?" wondered Sexy walking away.  
"Goddess of Love protect me if you can against this evil place." said Lorlinda.  
"Ok next room is Nebula, Luna Bewitched, and Brittney McAlister." said Dorinda  
"DIE SPACE SCUM DIE!" said Nebula shooting her laser gun. Whicj wasn't really a laser gun but it did fire rubber things out so if one was on the line of her fire one would have a rubber dart thing sticking to ones head. It just so happened tha Brittney was in the line of fire at that very moment. She screamed, glared at Nebula and exclaimed: "NO ONE ATTACKS THE IRISH AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!" Then of course she went after a screaming Nebula. Who was now beginning to think that Brittney was indeed a space Alien…You can only imagine how this would turn out.  
"I'm living with a bunch of morons." muttered Luna going to her new room.

"Ok next room is Valerie Gormack, Casey Bindle, and Katie Winslet," said Dorinda. Katie began running down the hall with her lasso screaming things that no one could make out.  
"I TELL HIM TO CHYANGE HIS WAYS BUT HE JUST LOOKS AT ME AND SAYS-" started Valeria screaming down the hall.  
"MmmShaniaTwainmmm." said Casey eating her peanut butter.  
"Ok I'm with Star McMasters and Claire Sea-Worth." said Dorinda.  
"READY OK! B-R-E-N-D-A! BRENDA! BRENDA! GO BRENDA!" chanted Claire and Star.  
"My name is Dorinda." said Dorinda  
"WE KNOW BUT WE LIKE TO SING ABOUT BRENDA!" exclaimed Star.  
"ARE YOU READY FOR ANOTHER CHEER BESTEST BEST FRIEND STAR!" exclaimed Claire.  
"YOU BETCH'YA BESTEST BEST FRIEND CLAIRE!" exclaimed Star  
"Oh god." muttered Dorinda. "Somebody help me." she was close to tears and begging.  
"WE ARE THE BESTEST BEST FRIENDS IN THE WOLRD!" exclaimed Claire and Star and they continued to chant all the way down the hall to their new room. With a very angry, very scared, very sad, very I'm-going-to-kill-something-right-now-so-stay-out-of-my-way Dorinda following them.

**(Back in the studio room)  
**  
"OH MY GOD!" exclaimed Adriana laughing her head off. "Ahh it's perfect!"  
"I beg to differ." said Quinn.  
"Oh hush up Quinn and go home. You deserve it." said Adriana. Quinn glared at her boss.  
"You'll be hearing from me later." she muttered. Adriana though ignored her and began to think of what should happen next time on the show.

**_( later that day) _**

Adriana sipped her coke gingerly and read through the list of ideas for tomorrows activities. They all seemed rather dull to her. She sighed and threw the list in the trash can of doom. DOOM I TELL YOU!  
( Adriana: Get on with the story already!  
Me: Oh fine be that way!…Why am I talking to myself?)

**_Anyways….._**

Adriana sighed and continued to look through her files and papers that is until she got a phone call.  
"Ms. Fitch Quinn is on line 3 for you. She doesn't sound to happy either." said Grace in through the doorway. Adriana sighed.  
"Thanks Grace." she replied and picked up the phone.

"Hello?"  
"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!" Adriana pulled the phone away from her ear.  
"Is something wrong Quinn?"  
"IS SOMETHING WRONG? IS SOMETHING WRONG! YES SOMETHING IS WRONG! I CAN'T STAND YOUR FAN GIRLS! I HAVE BEEN ATTACKED OK! I AM GOING TO STRANGLE SOME OF THEM YOU EVIL EVIL PERSON!" Adriana sighed.  
"Quinn you knew this would happen…"  
"I DON'T CARE! YOU FIX THIS PROBLEM OR I SHALL QUIT!" and with that the women on the other line hung up. Adriana clutched the phone tightly.

"No one…bosses….THE OWNER OF AMF STUDIOS!" yelled Adriana and she slammed the phone down. "MS. HAWTHORNE!"  
"Yes Ms. Fitch?" asked the secretary.  
"Get me the Monkeys! I want all 29 if them at Quinn's apartment right now! Tell them to ruin everything in sight Oh…and tell them to have some fun while they are at it." said Adriana smirking.  
"Yes Ms. Fitch." replied Grace  
"No one yells at me and gets away with it." muttered the producer

Quinn walked into her apartment and sighed. Her hair was a mess and she had the tightest grip on her coffee that anyone has ever seen. She was in a foul mood and didn't want to talk to anyone. She stalked her way around her apartment and finally decided to reside in the living room and plopped in front of the TV. Everything was calm and peaceful. Then a loud crash came from the kitchen. Quinn whipped around and looked into the kitchen. Inside was a single monkey playing with her pots and pans.  
"GET OUT OF HERE YOU NOSE PICKING DISEASE RIDDEN ANIMAL!" screamed Quinn. The monkey screeched at her and didn't move. "GO AWAY!" It screeched again and then, much to Quinn's dismay, more monkeys appeared. They glared at her menacingly. Quinn grabbed a firing pan while the monkeys grabbed some bananas.  
"BRING IT ON FLEA BAGS!" yelled the show host. The monkeys screeched and attacked. Screams were heard, things were smashed, and in the end the monkeys won. They tied Quinn up in a chair and placed her in front of the TV. Then they turned on the TV and changed it to a certain channel.

'Smart monkeys.' thought Quinn and she looked to the TV. Adriana appeared on it.  
"Quinn, if you ever decide to yell at me again I'll send more then my Monkeys to your apartment. SO DON'T DO IT AGAIN! Thank you for watching and have a nice night." Adriana waved and the TV was turned off. The monkeys untied Quinn and scampered away. Quinn collapsed into the chair.  
"Never mess with my crazy boss." she muttered.  
**  
A/N: Bad cliffhanger eh? LOL Anyways thank you all for the reviews, I enjoyed reading them. I would like to ask one small itty bitty thing…  
SOMEBODY GIVE IDEAS! I BEG YOU! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I NEED YOUR HELP! I really can't think of anything right now except Dear Delirious' Idea. Which is very good but I NEED MORE! Please if you have any ideas just tell me! I WILL BE SO HAPPY IF YOU DO THIS! Please and Thank you! **


	13. Confessions of a Fangirl pt 1

**IMPORTANT NOTE: I owe the confessional idea to My Dear Delerious! I hearted it and it worked for this chapter! Anyways hope you enjoy.**

**Ch. 13 Confessions of a Fan Girl pt 1…**

Adriana rifled through her reports and utter nonsense she had to put up with as a producer.  
"No. Stupid. Gah. SPONGE-BOB! GRRRRRR! I will kill the idiot who plays this pranks on me!" Adriana threw the stack of papers into the trash can of doom. "BURN!"  
"Uh Ms. Fitch?" asked Grace peeking into the doorway.  
"WHAT!" yelled the producer as she watched more papers burn.  
"Quinn is here to watch the confessional videos with you." said Grace. Adriana's head snapped up.  
"Is she now?" she asked musing little.. Grace nodded. "Well then send her in and prepare the videos. This will be very entertaining indeed."  
"Very well Ms. Fitch and she opened the door fully to et Quinn and the techies to set up the video stuff. Quinn was holding her double chocolate vanilla latte in her hands and sipping it quietly. Her hair was now a lime greenish color.

"I thought you were going to keep the pink." commented Adriana as the two sat down to watch the videos.  
"I decided to try something new but I think I might go pack to pink." said Quinn.  
"Right…." started Adriana "HAWTHORNE! Bring me a coke please!" Grace came in and handed Adriana her coke. "Thank you."  
"Your welcome." replied Grace  
"Oh Grace come and watch the confessionals with us." said Adriana "I need another opinion that I can use this."  
"..Um...ok." said Grace and sat down next to Adriana.

"Play it." said Adriana to the technical guys. The guys pressed the play button to operate the big screen TV and DVD player. Adriana leaned back in her Lazy boy chair and grabbed some popcorn that she had on her desk. She pressed a button on a remote and made the blinds close. Quinn and Grace raised an eyebrow at this but none the less watched the TV screen.

The first person that came on was Sunshine Rainbow Star.  
"Well…I just met my other roommates…and they so do not have good Karma….I hope the herbal plants that I placed in the window…NEVER LEAVE HOME WITH THE OREGANO!" exclaimed Sunshine

"Do you think she'll get voted off?" asked Quinn munching on some popcorn.  
"No she'll keep the craziness going around." said Grace

Sunshine talked about how we should love the trees because they talk to her and how the oppression of the man was going to fall. Adriana was falling asleep and quickly fast forward it to the next girl.

It was the Rachel who was alone. Which reminded Adriana of the OTHER elves she had to get. She sighed and listened to Rachel's thing.  
"HUZZAH!…I am alone! WHEEEEEEEE!" said the girl. "I want to suck your blood." She stared in the screen and looked all Dracula-ish.

"Uhh…" started Adriana.

"I will rule this house! And win my elves! Because they will heart me forever and ever!" Rachel then looked at the ground. "OOO…POINTY OBJECT!" And she pounced on the pointy object.

"Umm moving on…" said Adriana going to the next girl. Which was Randy or Randarien.

"I SAW ELROHIR! I SAW ELROHIR! YEAH!" said the girl dancing around and smiling a bit. Then she looked at the camera. "Oh yeah I'm suppose to talk about my roommates and what not." So she sat down and began to tell about her roommates.  
"Samantha seems…interesting…She hates spiders like me!…I want to let them die…Stupid ginat creepy crawly things…" Rachel twitched a little. "…Lessien Is very quiet…and a little shy but I'm sure she is a very nice person but you never know someday she might do something drastic…One never knows." Suddenly a timer went off. "OH SUGAR IS READY! I'M COMING MY COOKIES!" and she ran off to go get cookies.

The next girl to appear was Emily, codename Lothlorien 13. She was the last minute arrival as you all know.

"I GET TO SEE GLORFINDEL ALMOST ALL THE TIME NOW! WHEEEEEEE!" she said happily. "I wonder if I can find away to get to his room…"

Adriana picked up the phone on her desk and called Milla.  
"Milla.." started Adriana  
"Yes Adriana?" asked Milla  
"Make sure you have little to no security around the elves."  
"What!"  
"Well I think it would be rather funny to see the fan girls try to sneak into the house."  
"Well what if they like kidnap one of the elves then don't return? We're out of show then." Adriana pondered over this.  
"Alright make sure security is tight and if anyone escapes and or otherwise kidnaps an Elf SOMEONE WILL SUFFER!"  
"But of course." replied Milla and hung up the phone. Adriana hung up the phone and noticed that someone new was in the confessional. It was Raven.

"I can't believe they stuck me with the happy hippy and the rich heiress." Raven twitched a little. "Someone will suffer for this…"

"I'm liking her more and more." said Adriana. Quinn and Grace just looked at their boss as if she was crazy. Which in all plain truth seemed a very likely reason indeed.

"Maybe I can kill Paris…and scare the hippy…hehehe…LET THE TORTURE BEGIN!" exclaimed the goth girl with an evil side.

Claire Sea-Worth came in next.  
"OH MY GOD!" she screeched so loud that the women in the room covered their ears. "ELLADEN IS SOOOOOOOOO CUTE!"

Quinn, Grace, and Adriana groaned. "Fast forward, she is just going to talk about how 'dreamy' Elladen's eyes are." said Quinn. So Adriana began to fast forward.  
"Dammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmn…she took up a whole hour on the DVD." said Adriana. "We're going to have to edit that."  
"She didn't say anything about her roommates." said Grace  
"We still have to use it anyways." said Quinn  
"Quiet!…Lindsey is up next." said Adriana  
"Oh right rat and squirrel girl." said Quinn

"Well my pets what should we say about our new roommates?" said Lindsey asking her rats in the cage. The rats squeaked a bit and then stopped. "Hmm...your right that Feandil girl does LOVE her pastries….What about Charley?" The rats squeaked again. "Shape shifters are cool but she isn't turning into rat. I don't want anything to change my little angels."

O.O….That was the face of everyone in the room.

Lorlinda Venus was next. She walked in and sat down perfectly on the chair provided for the confessional thing.

"Is it just me or does she seem to me…glowing?" asked Adriana  
"You mean the white surrounding her in a sort of mysterious way giving her the 'goddess' look?" asked Grace  
"Yeah that one." said Adriana  
"Then your not the only one who think she is glowing." said Grace.

"I don't know exactly what to say about my roommates…" said Venus softly. "EXCEPT THEY HAVE NO RESPECT FOR THE GODDESS OF LOVE & BEAUTY!" Venus sighed. "Elizabeth is so…prissy and Sexy...she um well…she dresses to not leave anything to the imagination for men."

"Oh yeah." said the girls in unison.

"But other then that they leave me alone. Of course now I have to find somewhere to worship Venus or Aphrodite." said Venus. "Hmm…I wonder if they have a temple around here." and she walked off to look for one.

The next girl to walk in was Nebula. "I WILL DEFEAT THE SPACE ALIENS!…Just as soon as I win Glorfindel." and she went on and on and on about Glorfindel and the Aliens. Nebula could never forget about the aliens.

Lessien Losshelin was next. She walked in quietly and looked at the camera. She was silent and then…she screamed. "I'M HERE! I'M ACTUALLY HERE! WHEEEEEE! YEAH!" She danced around the chair and kissed the camera. Then became silent and walked out.

Hannah came in a little bit later. She was holding a book but the women watching could not see what it was.  
"Well my roommates…" started Hannah… "ARE CRAZY!…Idril moved her bed far away from Emily and I, then she placed candles around her bed saying that she was going to create a like shield or something to keep us away…But one never knows…maybe she'll grow on me. Emily…ah Emily…well she really really really really loves Glorfindel. That's all I can really say right now."  
Then Hannah walked out and a little while later Paris walked in.

"ERG! I AM SO GOING TO TELL DADDY ABOUT THIS!" she said snootily. "That I, Paris Marie Van Starton does NOT have her own room, her own butler, maid, cleaning lady, personal trainer, cook, and personal assistant! I mean HELLO how is a girl suppose to live!"

Adriana sighed and skipped the rest of hers and moved onto Katie Winslet.

"Well I don't what to think of this place. I want to go rope me an elf and then do the cliché thing and ride off into the sunset." said Katie "Anyways Valerie spends all her time listening to her music. She simply adores it. Casey spends all her it me eating peanut butter and has gotten it all over her bed already. Bleh. I hope we can change rooms soon."

"NOT ON YOUR LIFE!" yelled Adriana laughing evilly.  
"Ms. Fitch-"  
"Call me Adriana when I am in a good mood." said Adriana  
"Erm Adriana…it's time for lunch. Why don't we go get lunch then come back here to watch the rest of the confessional…things." suggested Grace  
"Fine by me." said Adriana "I'm starved. So let us be off!" and she dragged the three out the door. Then a few seconds later.  
"As soon as I get my purse!" said the producer and she ran down the hall with Grace and Quinn to go get lunch.

**A/N: Seeing as how I took forever to update and stuff I thought I would stop it here. More Fan Girl confessions and what not in the next chapy! **

Once again thank you My Dear Delirious for the idea. I HEARTED IT!

**To the other reviewers who gave me ideas: OH MY GOD! There were so many!…LOL. I can't wait to try them all out in chapters to come! **

Until next time Duckies. TALLY HO THE FOX!

Oh P.S: I am trying to finish The Insane, The Freak, and the Obsessed so it may be awhile before I update but it is almost over actually. ( tear)…Anyways toodles.


	14. Confessions of a Fangirl pt2

**Ch. 14 Confessions of a Fangirl pt. 2**

Adriana, Quinn, and Grace walked back into the office after having some lunch.  
"Wa-hoo!" yelled Adriana sitting back down in her chair with a coke. "Let's start it up again!" Grace and Quinn raised an eyebrow at their boss.  
"Ms. Fitch-"  
"Adriana when I am happy." said Adriana  
"Uh right." started Grace "Are you sure your alright?"  
"Of course." replied Adriana "Now come on and sit down I wanna know what happens next!" Quinn and Grace sat down on opposite sides of their boss and watched the rest of the confessionals.

"Fist up is Luna Bewitched." said Grace. Adriana nodded.

Luna walked into the confessional area with her black cat, Selena.  
"What can we say about our roommates my pet?" asked Luna scratching the cat's ears.  
"That Nebula girl is a freak." said Selena "Always running after space aliens. Sheesh. Doesn't she know that they long left this quadrant to go to Reshanova?"  
"I suppose she doesn't really understand the magical aspect of it all." replied Luna  
"Brittney annoys me." muttered Selena "If she sings one more Irish Chanty I swear I'll claw her eyes out." and Selena extended her claws and retracted them for the camera. "But otherwise I think I am going to have loads of fun." Luna nodded.  
"Well I have to go see if no one has eaten my deadly apples yet." said Luna taking Selena away.  
"FEAR THE RATH OF THE CAT!" yelled Selena before leaving.

"Interesting." said Quinn  
"Very…" said Grace  
"I heart it all!" yelled Adriana "Move on!"

Brittney McAlister came in next. "Alright…I have but one thing to say." she paused. "GET ME OUT OF HERE! THESE GIRLS ARE CRAZY!" and Brittney began naming off reasons she wanted to leave but then she thought of Orophin and his silky blonde hair and enchanting brown eyes.

"NO!" yelled Adriana "NO! MAKE IT STOP! NOOOOOOOO!" Adriana covered her ears and was running around in circles.  
"I'll fast forward Adriana." said Quinn moving on.  
"Thank god." said Adriana relieved and sitting back down in her chair. "Whose next?"  
"Sexy Bubbly." stated Grace  
"Oh good lord." said Adriana

Sexy walked in with a mini skirt and tube top. Pink was the color at the moment.  
"Ok like…I can't stand Elizabeth…she called me a slut." said Sexy

"Duh." said Quinn, Adriana, and Grace

"I mean she thinks she can get any man she wants with just a snap of her fingers." said Sexy "Well I'll show her. I'm going to make sure I get my man before she can even get even say MOTHER-" BEEP!

"OOOOO….someone has a dirty mouth." said Adriana  
"A cat fight is coming." said Quinn "This will be entertaining for weeks!"  
"Mhmm." said Grace "But wouldn't it be better if Elizabeth and Sexy were going after the same guy?"  
"Yeah…" mused Adriana "OH WELL! NEXT!"

Elizabeth was the next girl to walk in. "I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS!" she yelled "I GET STUCK WITH MISS SLUT AND THE LOVE GODDESS FREAK! WAIT TILL DADDY HERE'S ABOUT THIS! I KNOW HE'LL SIDE WITH ME! I BETTER BE MOVED AWAY FROM THESE FREAKS! AND SEXY IS SO GOING DOWN!"

"Blah blah blah." said Adriana mimicking Elizabeth with her hand. "She and Paris could be best friends."  
"No they can't be." said Grace  
"Why not?" asked Adriana  
"Latest news flash is that Paris and Elizabeth are the worst of enemies." said Grace "Something about a guy and a party."  
"Of course." replied Adriana thinking for a moment. "IF…their fathers call saying they want their little girls away from the so called 'freaks' we're putting them in a room together."  
"WHAT!" yelled Quinn and Grace.  
"Ah. Ah. Ah." said Adriana shaking her index finger. "Do not question the logic when you work for the logic." Grace and Quinn immediately became quiet and turned back to the screen.

Candy Ackerman came in sucking a lolypop. "Well…What can I say?" she asked while eating her lolypop.  
"Diana loves Tacos. She sings: I love Tacos. I love Tacos. I love Tacos. WHEEEEEEEE!" Candy paused for a sec. "Oh Aria erm BabyDoll is very moody but she's ok I guess….She gave me a lolypop that had a skull and crossbones on it! IT'S SO GOOD! EVERY-" Candy suddenly dropped to the ground unconscious…or dead.

"OH MY GOD!" yelled Adriana  
"Don't worry Mrs. Fitch." said Grace "She was taken to the hospital for treatment but she may not be coming back."  
"WELL I KNOW THAT!" exclaimed Adriana "I WAS GOING TO SAY THAT IT WAS SO COOL!" Quinn and Grace sincerely thought now that Adriana was off her rocker.  
"MOVING ON!" yelled Adriana

Diana walked into the room with a Taco. "I LOVE TACOS! I LOVE TACOS! I LOVE TACOS!" and she kept singing that over and over and over again.

Adriana quickly fast forward to the next girl. Whoever she was.

"I can't believe I got stuck with Lolypop girl and Taco freak." muttered Aria "But soon I will make sure that I am alone in that room. Soon…very soon indeed." Aria cackled evilly.

Grace and Quinn looked scared but Adriana just bounced up and down happily in her seat.

Aria didn't say much after that and Dorinda came in. "HOW CAN TWO PEOPLE CHEER SO MUCH!" she asked "HOW! IT'S MADNESS! SOMEONE SAVE ME FROM THESE CHEERLEADING FREAKS! HELP! ANYONE! SAVE ME!" Dorinda was now hyperventilating.

"She's not going to the hospital is she?" asked Adriana watching the screen.  
"No." replied Grace "She thought about Elrohir and got better immediately but I think she she'll snap in the first challenge and run away."  
"You want to make a wager on that?" asked Quinn raising an eyebrow.  
"Fine." said Grace "20 bucks says the other girls drive her crazy and she leaves after the first challenge."  
"Your on." said Quinn shaking the girls hand.

Star walked on. Bubbly and bright as always. "My new bestest best friend Claire and I are like going to cheer on everyone." said Star "We're going to win!…Just so long as she stays with Elladen and I get Elrohir!" she paused "Oh right I have to talk about my roommates…" she sighed. "Well I don't want to so I'll just talk about myself!" and she went into long detail about herself.

The three women in the room fast forward through the boring part and came to the next fan girl.

Valerie Gormack walked in. "Ok my roomates." she started "Casey loves Peanut butter. Oh my gosh who knew that so much peanut butter could be stuffed into one mouth!" she sighed. "Katie is a cowgirl. Keeps on saying she is going to rope her and elf. I swear if she says it one more time I am going to glue a set of headphones to her ears!"

"That." started Adriana "Is a cool idea…I give Valerie Gormack an A."  
"But she threatened to Glue headphones to Katie's ears." said Quinn  
"THAT'S WHY SHE GETS AN A!" yelled Adriana "Now lets finish watching these things."

Casey walked in with a bunch of Peanut butter. "MmmmValerie likes musicmmm." said Casey with a mouth full of peanut butter. "Mmm needmmm milkmmmm." and she walked off.

"That was boring." said Adriana

Stacy Handcock walked in. "I HATE CATHY!" she yelled "SHE IS SUCH A FREAKIN SMARTASS! ALL SHE DOES IS BRAG ABOUT HOW SMART SHE IS OR SHE GOES BALISTIC OVER THE LITTLEST OF THINGS! GRRRRRRRR! SHE WILL DIE I TELL YOU! DIE!"

"Maybe we need to start an anger management program for some of these girls." suggested Adriana  
"Possibly." said Grace "But they might ask you to join them and Quinn as well."  
"…FORGET IT THEN!" yelled Quinn  
"I agree with her on this one." said Adriana

Cathy Smartass walked in. "CAN YOU BELIEVE STACY! SHE IS SOOOOO ANNOYING!" said Cathy complaining about her roommate and how she deserved her own room and everything.

Adriana was getting tired of Cathy and she knew the others were too. So she made a decision.  
"I don't care what it takes ladies." she started "Cathy leaves…As does Star. One Cheerleading mary-sue bimbo is enough for me thank you."  
"Good it shall be done." said Grace  
"Finally! Freedom!" yelled Quinn  
"No." said Adriana "We still have some fan girls to go."  
"Awwwww man." groaned Quinn  
"But I have some things to do so I shall see you all tomorrow." said Adriana pushing them out the door. "Bye!"  
"Uh bye…" said Grace  
"She is wayyyyyyyy to happy." said Quinn  
"Maybe the ratings picked up." suggested Grace  
"No I think it is something else." said Quinn "I'm going to find out what it is…"  
"I don't think that's a good idea." said Grace "Remember the monkeys?"  
"Oh yeah…those things." said Quinn shivering. "Ok maybe I will find out something later."  
"Yeah." replied Grace "Well I'm going home! Bye Quinn!"  
"Bye Grace." replied Quinn and the two woman walked off. Wondering what exactly their boss was thinking.

"I AM GOING TO RULE THE WORLD!" yelled Adriana "MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" she paused "AND NO ONE SHALL STOP ME!"  
Well that was mostly what she was thinking….

**A/N: Sorry for the late update. I wanted to finish IFO first and I have gone out for the school musical, and I am in high school so things are turning out to be more and more hectic. **

IMPORTANT NOTE: Ok…I know that there have been a few people who have wanted to join…Even though I am not longer in need of fan girls….I am going to try and see if I can…remove some of MY creation fan girls to place anyone who wants to come in. But this process will tae time and it took me forever to get all the Personalities, appearances, names, and applications organized. I am going to try and find a way to get this more organized.  
SO…Here is what I will do. Anyone who wants to join may send in application. BUT I am telling you now that I may not be able to find a place to put you in.

**SECOND NOTE: I know updates are taking like 2 weeks but I am trying to focus on this fic now. I still have to post sequels to IFO and that will take some time since I am still looking for plot things. **

THIRD NOTE: Part 3 Of Confessions of a Fangirl are coming soon. I know who is going to be in it I just need to write it.

Thank you to those of you who reviewed and gave me such great ideas! I am going to use all of them most likely!

Tah for now duckies and Tally ho the fox!


	15. Confessions of a Fangirl pt 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR, Or the REAL fangirls, BUT EVERYTHING ELSE IS MINE! SO...No using my charecters, plot, or antyhing of mine!**

Ch. 15 Confessions of a FanGirl pt. 3 

Adriana stormed in angrily to the office the next day. She looked serious and very annoyed.  
"Someone didn't do their job right this morning." whispered some people moving out of her way. Adriana didn't speak to anyone she just walked into her office and slammed the double doors behind her.

There was silence in the building and then a very loud scream.  
"Yup she is going to fire someone today." said one man walking quickly to the board room.

"MS. HAWTHORNE!" yelled Adriana "WHERE IS THAT BUMBLING IDIOT OF A MAN KNOWN AS CHRISTOPHER CHAMBERS!"  
"Umm he is uh in a conference at the moment." said Grace  
"I DON'T CARE IF HE IS HAVING A BABY! GET HIM INTO MY OFFICE! NOW!" yelled Adriana looking through the doorway. "AND WHAT ARE THE REST OF YOU STANDING AROUND FOR! GET BACK TO WORK!" everyone quickly got back to work while Adriana went back into her office and sat down in her black rolling chair.  
"Oh he will pay…" she mused "He will pay!"

Christopher Chambers walked slowly to Adriana's office. Everyone moved out of his way as if her were the plague. Grace was sitting nervously at her desk waiting for him.  
"Umm…I'm here." he said not really knowing why he was being called to Adriana's office. Grace nodded and buzzed Adriana.  
"Mr. Chambers is here to see you Ms. Fitch." said Grace  
"Send him in." said the cold voice on the other end.  
"You may go in Mr. Chambers." said Grace. Chris walked into the double door room. Grace closed the doors behind him and he stood by the door.

"Come closer Mr. Chambers and have a seat." said Adriana with the back of her chair facing him. Chris walked slowly over to the dark desk and sat in the uncomfortable chair.  
"Did you know Mr. Chambers that I have spies in my midst?" asked Adriana "They are like leeches sucking me dry or thorns on my side but they are here in this company."  
"I did not know that Ms. Fitch." said Chris. Adriana snorted and turned to face him.  
"LIKE HELL YOU DIDN'T!" she yelled "I DO NOT TOLERATE SPIES MR. CHAMBERS!" and she slammed some pictures onto her desk.  
"YOU WERE GIVING INFORMATION ABOUT MY SHOW AND MYSELF TO MY GREATEST ENEMY!" she paused. "MARY SUE OF MARY SUE INC!"

"I swear Ms. Fitch that it isn't me-"  
"I SAY IT IS CHAMBERS!" yelled Adriana interrupting him. "And there is nothing…NOTHING! I despise more than you at the moment Mr. Chambers. I know this is you in these pictures and if you think that I am going to give you another chance to prove you trust YOU ARE WRONG! GOODBYE MR. CHAMBERS!" and Adriana pressed the red button on her remote control letting Chambers fall down into The Fired Peoples Place.  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he yelled as the hatch closed above him and he fell down the chute.

Adriana sighed and closed her eyes for a moment. "I think this Karma stuff is really getting better for me." she said. "Anyways…GRACE!"  
"Yes Miss. Fitch?" asked Grace sticking her head into the room.  
"Could you get me an Extra Large Cherry Coke and get my executives into a board room meeting in an hour or two?" asked Adriana  
"Of course Ms. Fitch." said Grace.  
"Oh and Grace." started Adriana "I'm going to need you and Quinn for the rest of the Fan girl confession things."  
"Very Well Ms. Fitch." said Grace and she walked out the door. Adriana sighed and sat back down in her chair.  
"What did I get myself into?" she asked herself.  
"A lot of things." said someone coming into the room. Adriana jumped up and looked at the door.

"Oh." she said "Hello Quinn." Quinn handed her the extra large Cherry Coke. "Thanks."  
"Your welcome." replied Quinn "So…Grace tells me there was a spy in your offices?"  
"Yes." I replied "I only told her though but no doubt everyone knows now because of all my yelling. All thanks to Mary Sue Inc."  
"Mary Sue Inc?" asked Quinn with a raised eyebrow.  
"They are my greatest enemies." Adriana replied "Every year they try and get someone in here to try and get information."  
"Do they succeed?" asked Quinn  
"Sometimes." started Adriana "But usually their agents are to ideal for me to actually hire them for something."  
"Ah Mary Sue's." said Quinn  
"More like clones of Mary Sue." I replied  
"There is a Mary Sue?" asked Quinn  
"Yes a single person bound to her company and her sue-ness." said Adriana "She wanted to get on the show and take Legolas."  
"How do you know this?" asked Quinn  
"She told me." was the simple reply from Adriana. "She called me and told me. How stupid can ya get?"  
"What shall we do with her?" asked Quinn  
"What do you mean?" asked Adriana  
"Well." started Quinn "Why not find a way to get her back….Like a prank or another spy?"

"Hmm…I wouldn't mind that." mused Adriana "But for now I think I shall just concentrate on the show we still have…14 more fan girls to go."  
"How many did you hire?" asked Quinn  
"4o." replied Adriana. "But lets not worry about the numbers I need to call someone. Can you bring Grace in to get the confession thing ready?"  
"Sure Boss." replied Quinn.

"Hello Milla." said Adriana talking into the phone.  
"Hey Adriana." replied Milla "Do you need more security for the show?"  
"Yes I do actually." replied Adriana "I want you to make sure no one goes in or out of the studio lot."  
"Why?" asked Milla  
"Spies." Adriana replied "For Mary Sue." Milla cough and choked.  
"MARY SUE!" she yelled  
"The very one." said Adriana "Come up to my office and we can discuss what to do after watching the Confessionals."  
"Uh I'll be right there." said Milla  
"Ok bye then." said Adriana hanging up the phone.

"Ms. Fitch." started Grace "The executives have been notified off the meeting in an hour."  
"Good." replied Adriana "Take a seat with Quinn." Milla walked in a little bit after wards and took her seat.  
"Maybe seeing some of these crazy people will change my attitude." said Adriana flicking on the TV and closing the blinds to make the room dark.

Fist up was Samantha. "SUGAR!" she yelled running round and round the chair and almost knocking over the camera. "WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" she paused and sniffed the air. "I SMELL COOKIES! WHO HAS COOKIES OUT THERE!" and she raced off outside to get some sugar.

"Uhhh…" started Milla  
"Um right." said Adriana "Moving on."

Aranel walked into the room. She was holding a pizza box. "Yeah! Pizza with Gummy Bears in top! WHEEEEEEEEEEEE!" she yelled and began eating. "Oh right…I have to talk about my roommates." she paused for a moment. "Well….Ashley is like a mixed personality person. She is hyper and chaotic when she has her coffee then she becomes a recluse and wears black and sits in dark corners. She is weird I tell you…WEIRD!" and Aranel ate a gummy bear. "Oh and Earane is scatterbrained! She will be eating a cookie one moment and then jumping up and down on her bed." The doorbel rang. "OOOOOOO MY SECOND PIZZA IS HERE! YIPPE!" and she ran off.

"Ok." started Adriana "who gave her control to get Pizza?" The other woman in the room shrugged and they moved onto the next person.

Ashley walked in dressed in black.

"Since when was she goth like?" asked Adriana  
"Something about never wearing skirts or pink." said Milla.  
"Ohhhhhhhhhh." said Adriana

"Ok my roommates." she started "Earane is like…sugar high…all the time! She jumps up and down and dances around. Sings Christmas carols and then she runs off." she paused for a moment. "Aranel is the girl who is hyperactive. She has already ordered Five Gummy Bear Pizza's! Five! And she just ordered another one! Yet she still has yet to finish the others! I don't understand her!" Ashley shook her head. "On another note I think the host is a bit…weird. I mean what is up with her pink hair?"

"I HEART MY SOON TO BE PINK AGAIN HAIR!" yelled Quinn  
"Oh hush up Quinn." said Grace "You can fry the girl later." Quinn looked at Adriana for approval.  
"Yeah you can grill all the fan girls." said Adriana "I have some challenges for them anyways."  
"YEAH!" yelled Quinn grinning like an idiot and sitting back down.

Ashley finished talking and Earane stepped into the confessional thing. "I SPY WITH MY LITTLE EYE…HEY A SUGAR CUBE!" Earane dove to the floor and held up a sugar cube. She sniffed it and looked at the camera. "Uhhh roommates….That's it! Roommates!" Earane thought for a moment and then jumped up and down. "I'M THE EASTERBUNNY! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"What the- BEEP!" Adriana groaned at the stupid BEEP noise.  
"Warning. Warning. No bad language permitted. Warning." said a voice.  
"OH SHUT THE- BEEP- Up!" yelled Adriana taking her pencil cup and throwing it at the alarm BEEP- ME- IF- YOU-WANT-ERASE-PROFANITY-SYSTEM.  
"It says in her resume she is a bit scatterbrained." said Grace  
"A bit!" screeched Milla "Look at her! She thinks she's the Easter bunny!"  
"At least you don't have to see them everyday." said Quinn  
"Oh shut up the lot of ya!" yelled Adriana "Charley is next!"

Sure enough Earane hopped out of the room and Charley came in. In her regular form.  
"If Diana ever tries to steal another one of my taco's I swear I will kick her ass!" said Charley passionately. "But about my roommates." she paused. "Lindsey has a very nice collection of rats and a rather interesting squirrel. I talked to him in squirrel language. He is cool but Lindsey loves to talk to her animals. She was having a conversation with them about the meaning of a Mary Sue and why they should die."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" yelled Adriana "SHE SAID THE EVIL WORD! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT ANYMORE!"  
"What? Mary Sue?" asked Quinn  
"SHUT UP QUINN! DO NOT SPEAK OF THE EVIL!" yelled Adriana taking two pillows and putting them over her ears.  
"Perhaps we better skip the rest eh?" asked Grace  
"NO MARY SUE!" cried Adriana and Grace fast-forward to Feandil Elensil.

"Ok my pastries are locked away with my safe so no one should be able to get into it." said Feandil and then she screamed. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! CLOWN! GET IT AWAY! GET IT AWAY!" Feandil raced off and out the door. There was indeed a Clown standing in the camera area now.  
"Uh am I in the wrong place?" asked Ronald McDonald.

"Cheeseburger!" yelled Adriana randomly.  
"Uhhh…moving on." said Grace.  
"Alexa is next." said Milla  
"I still want a cheeseburger." said Adriana

Alexa came into the confessional dressed out in protective padding. She looked around for a moment and took of her football helmet.  
"A ball came and waked me earlier." started Alexa "And just to make sure it never happens again I am wearing protective padding right now…..But anyways about my roommates!" she paused for a moment to think. "Sahairah talks to herself sometimes. She mentioned something about taking over the Cheese Capitol of the world. Cause she really likes cheese…I mean really loves it! I think she has a cheese wheel somewhere in the room."

"A cheese wheel?" asked Adriana  
"Cheese is good." said Quinn. Adriana shook her head and turned her attention back to the confessional.

"Lessien is seriously into staring off into space and rice. I think she's really smart but it's weird sometimes…She also likes Glorfindel a lot." said Alexa "Personally I like Elladen that sexy black hair-"

"No!" said Adriana grabbing the remote and fast forwarding. "No!"  
"Next is Sahariah." said Milla  
"Shouldn't her name be spelled Sahara?" asked Quinn  
"Well no…cause then she would be named for a desert." said Milla  
"Just play the tape!" screeched Adriana

"Well my roommates are interesting people." said Sahariah "Alexa has taken to wearing protective padding because a ball came flying at her earlier. Then she came running out of the confessional thing screaming: Run for your lives! It's Ronald McDonald!" Sahairsh shook her head. "It was funny and weird at the same time. Uh anyways….Lessian is quiet. She's not the goth one though. But she is kid of scary to. She stares off into space. Like she is looking at a galaxy far far away…." Sahariah paused for a moment. "So that's all! Bye!" and she was gone.

"Ok for Sahairah and Alexa." said Lessian walking into the room. "Alexa is supposedly the immature one and Sahairah talks to herself sometimes. Which is interesting because I am suppose to the weird one who stares into space…Eh oh well….Lindsey wanted to show me her squirrels earlier…" Lessian shuddered. "The day I go near a squirrel is the day Michael Jackson goes back to being his actual skin color, nose, eyes, and other massive plastic surgery he did." and then Lessian walked out.

"Are we going to use that?" asked Grace  
"Yes." replied Quinn "We need to."  
"Adriana are you sure your ok?" asked Milla  
"Of course I am!" declared Adriana "Why would you say otherwise?"  
"You look like Napoleon Bonaparte in the outfit your wearing." said Milla and indeed Adriana did. She had the weird hat on, the blue jacket, white trousers, the shoes, had her hair pulled away from her face, and she had drawn a eyeliner mustache on her face.  
"Oh right…" said Adriana "I'll change…be right back. GO ON WITHOUT ME!"  
"Oh she scares me." said Quinn  
"Your not the only one." said Grace and Milla in unison.

Serenity came in with a notepad in hand and was writing away. The camera guy tried to zoom to see what she writing but she simply pushed him away and almost knocked him over the next couple times he tried to get closer.  
"There! It is done!" she declared.

"What is done?" asked the group.  
"She writes poems people." said Adriana holding up Serenity's file.  
"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh." said everyone else.

"Well for my roommates." said Serenity "Mel or Meliana is very calm at times and then suddenly she has this big spark of energy and is hyper! It is rather interesting to watch. All I can say about Ea DON'T GIVE HER LEMONADE! FOR THE LOVE OF ZEUS! NO GIVING THAT WOMAN LEMONADE! SHE GOES NUTS!"

"Make sure Lemonade is provided in the house." said Adriana  
"Right." said Grace jotting it down as a note.

Meliana walked in after Serenity sipping some tea. "Serenity is very calm. She is after all the Goddess of Dreams." said Mel "She really likes rainbow drops though. They seem to fascinate her to no end. Ea is just plain crazy. She screams wheeeeeeeee a lot and goes crazy over Lemonade! To much sugar…which reminds me I need some…" and Mel walked off to go get herself sugar high. "

Ea Crenella walked in next. "LEMONADE MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND!" She screamed and walked out but the camera crew brought her back to talk about her roommates. They had to bribe her with some pizza, a cookie, and of course Lemonade. "I officially heart the camera crew for giving me food!" and she waved the camera people. "Um Serenity is calm and Mel love Legolas!…The End. Bye bye Now!" and she quickly raced away with her food.

"These girls can all run." said Quinn  
"This is going to be interesting." said Milla  
"Oy." was all Adriana could manage to say.

"I'm singing in the rain what a glorious- Wait…" Kathleen stopped singing. "I think I already sing that….Gah! I have to talk about the roommates now." she paused and cleared her throat for a moment. "Isis love Elrohir but I do not see why she loves him when Legolas is so sexy!" she smiled and then frowned. "Good lord I sound like that Sexy Bubbly girl! SOMEBODY SAVE ME!" and she ran out without talking about Rachel…The One who liked Legolas. Not the Celeborn/Thranduil fan, Rachel.

Uh yeah anyways….

"Whose next?" asked Adriana  
"Isis." replied Grace

Sure enough Isis walked into the room. "Ok about my roommates." started Isis "They both absolutely adore Legolas! Which is great because that means they aren't my competition for Elrohir but if I hear another word about how sexy Legolas' eyes, hair, lips, chest, and but area I am going to scream!"

"I don't blame her." said Adriana eating some popcorn.

"But otherwise they are interesting,." said Isis and she walked out.

"What? That's it!" exclaimed Adriana  
"These things get shorter." remarked Grace  
"Kind of hard NOT to notice." said Adriana looking back at the screen to see Rachel there.

Rachel came in holding a picture of Legolas in a frame. "Is it such a crime to love someone that sexy?"

"IF I HEAR THE WORD SEXY UTTERED AGAIN I AM GOING TO DIE!" exclaimed Adriana  
"Sexy." said Quinn cheekily. Adriana glared at the lime green haired girl.  
"Shut up." she muttered.

Rachel went on a little bit about Legolas and then turned her attention to her roommates. "Kathleen is the competition! Even my crayon box says so!" she held up the crayon box for the camera. "I like driving Isis insane! Kathleen and I enjoy watching her cringe each time we say how sexy Legolas is!"

"I am going to kill the word sexy." muttered Adriana  
"Not until after the show." said Milla  
"Ok enough!" said Adriana "I don't want o hear how sexy his pointy ears are." Grace turned off the confessionals.  
"What needs to be done?" she asked.  
"First off, Quinn dye your hair back to pink. You look hideous with lime green hair." said Adriana "Second, Milla make sure security is tight around the set and mansions all the time. I am sick of worrying that those bimbo's over at Mary Sue Inc getting onto my set! Furthermore I will have a meeting with the executives in a bit. First I need to go and vent my anger on something."  
"What exactly?" asked Milla  
"Employee's I need to fire." said Adriana getting into her angry mode. "So leave before I decide to fire one of you." The three woman immediately left and shut the door behind him. Adriana smirked slightly and called in the first bumbling employee to be fired….

**A/N: Sorry for the late update….I was having difficulty finding my humor muse and I still am!…(cries)…But the good thing is that I posted this chapy! So thank you all for reviewing! It makes me feel loved! **

OK IMPORTANT NOTE: The people in the list below will be in the NEXT chapter. Sorry guys but I really had to finish uop this chapter and I couldn't add you just yet. In your reviews please leave to occupations that you may or want on the show…..Thank you.

Valerie  
Elevngroupie  
Manwathiel  
Lady Alinonae  
Aidan  
Emilie

Elven Bunny and Butterfly Lion- I could not get to you because you didn't leave your email and you didn't have it on your profile page. PLEASE…Leave contact information if you want to join or not!

SORRY: For grammer, spelling, etc. The usual stuff that makes my writing go haywire.  
So thank you all for your patience and I will try to get the next chapter up in the next week or so Ok? Tah for now duckies and TALLY HO THE FOX!


	16. None of your BeezWax!

**Ch. 16 None of your Beez- Wax!**

Lord Elrond of Rivendell, King Thranduil of Mirkwood, and Lord Celeborn of Lothlorien were currently on speculation as to where the several elves missing had gone to. Seven to be exact and these seven included:

Legolas  
Elrohir  
Elladen  
Glorfindel  
Haldir  
Orophin  
Rumil

"They can't just disappear into thin air!" cried Thranduil outraged. "My son just doesn't disappear!"  
"And neither do the others." said Elrond calmly. "We have been sending out search party after search party and nothing has been found."  
"People just don't disappear into thin air though…" commented Celeborn.  
"I think we have established that." replied Thranduil annoyed that his only heir to the throne of Mirkwood was gone and no one could find him.

"Sitting here won't solve our problems." said Celeborn. "Maybe with our combined knowledge we can find the others."  
"I doubt it." muttered Thraduil. Elrond sighed in annoyance. 'This is not going to go well,' he thought.

"Lord Elrond." said a servant knocking on the door. "There is a woman with strange pink hair here to see you."  
"Pink hair?" asked Elrond. The man nodded. "Tell her this is a rather bad time and I can't-"  
"Oh of course you can see me!" cried a woman barging past the servant and right up to the three older elves in the room.  
"Who are you?" demanded Thranduil.  
"A cheese monkey in training." replied the girl rolling her eyes. "Lord Elrond I have come here because of my benefactor."  
"I'm sorry Miss but We-" started Elrond.  
"Oh fine don't talk to me!" cried the woman. "But take this letter from My Boss. She definitely needs your help with some things." and with that the woman ran out of the room and waved goodbye.  
"Seize that woman!" cried Elrond but the maiden was gone.

Elrond sighed and tossed the note aside. "I'll read it later if it's so important." he muttered turning back to his guests.  
"Just read it now Elrond…" said Celeborn rubbing his temples.  
"But we need to devise a plan to bring back the elves." protested Elrond.  
"We have all day to do that and you are swamped with things to do." said Celebron. "Just read the letter." Elrond picked up the plain white envelope. His name was placed on their but no other indications as to who sent him the letter.

_Dear Elrond Half-Elven, _

You do not know who I am but I do know who you are. You are currently seeking out about seven elves or so yes? Well I just want to let you know that they are in safe hands and soon you will be too…  
I promise….  
Sincerely,

NONE OF YOUR BEEZ- WAX WHITE BOY! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Elrond glared at the letter. "Look at this!" he cried shoving the letter into Thranduil's hands.  
"This woman…whoever she is, has the elves we are looking for! We need to find that pink haired girl!" yelled Thranduil.  
"Patience Thranduil." said Celeborn. "Patience, the solution will arrive in due time."  
"Oh and when will that be?" asked Thranduil. "When every elf has sailed off to the undying lands!"  
"No but soon I am sure." said Celeborn.  
"Gentlemen this isn't getting us anywhere." said Elrond closing the doors to his study so as to try and have everyone in Rivendell NOT hear the conversation taking place. Celeborn and Thranduil thought ignored Elrond and continued to bicker about what should be done.

"WAIT!" yelled Elrond sniffing the air. "Does anyone smell strawberries?" Celebron and Thranduil stopped and sniffed around.  
"Yes…" mused Celeborn. "This is odd…" Suddenly any door or window shut tightly and a thick pink gas filled the air. The elves in the room choked on the gas.  
"Salvation.." chpked out Elrond crawling somewhat to the door. His mind began to blur as the gas soon began to leave the room.  
"Have a nice Nap Elrond…" someone whispered in his ear before he complete went blank and was unconscious.

"Move them out…" said Quinn moving away from Elrond. "Make sure Miss. Fitch is notified that we have caught them."  
"What are they being used for again?" asked Carson.  
"A lovely little opening to the first games of the season." said Quinn walking off while Carson just stood their in confusion.  
"Let's move out!" cried Quinn when everything was ready and set to go. "And let the games begin…"

**A/N: OKKKKKKK it's short I'm sorry! FORGIVE ME FOR NOT UPDATING! (cowers in fear of reviewers) I was going to make it longer but I had to re-check my info and wanted to make sure it was right…Like perfectly! Ok! **

_IMPORTANT NOTE(S): _These notes are for the people who I accepted and are new. In your next review please verify that this is correct. I really don't want to screw up anything SO PLEASE READ THIS NEW PEOPLE!

Elven Bunny: You are a MS soy for me and are trying to get rid of the Mary Sues Correct?

Emille: Fangirl for Glorfindel right? ( if your not a fan girl did I put you down for something else?)

Manwathiel: Fangorl for Elrohir ( if your not a fan girl did I put you down for something else?)

Valerie: I cannot for the life me find the email I sent you saying what your new occupation was! I'm sooooo sorry! I apologize profoundly!

Aiden: Fangirl for Haldir (if your not a fan girl did I put you down for something else?)

Elvengroupie: The Celeborn fan. If your still a Celeborn fan you will be VERY important in the next chapter.

IMPORTAN NOTE 2: I AM sorry for late updates but I am trying to get my sequels uo and running and do my duo story with XClaireX. I have also started school and I have much to do PLUS my brain went on a writers block stroke for a LONGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG while…and I am sorry. I will make the next chapter at least 5 pages long. I promise.

IMPORTANT NOTE 3: NO MORE! NO MORE FANGIRLS! PLEASE I BEG YOU! NO ONE SEND ME APPLICATIONS! As you can see I already screwed up the newest additions PLEASE NO MORE! THANK YOU!

Now…PLEASE OH PLEASE OH PLEASE PRESS THE GAY LITTLE BUTTON THAT SAYS SUBMIT! I REALLY REALLY WANT REVIEWS! 5- 10 AT LEAST! I'LL HAND OUT COOKIES, LEGOLAS, ANY OF THE ELVES, ( That you may borrow for a day) BUT PLEASE GIVE ME REVIEWS!…It makes my brain and job seem like all of this is a piece of cake!


	17. Yo Momma!

-**Ch. 17 Yo Momma!  
**  
Adriana sighed happily. Everything was in order and set to go. She had everything and _everyone_ she needed. The hosts, the elves, the insane fan girls bent on destroying their competition. Oh the madness that would come about was going to be thrilling!

"Adriana," said Grace knocking on the door to her bosses office. "They need you on the studio lot. They are about to introduce Elrond, Celeborn, Glorfindal, and Thranduil."  
"I'll be there in a moment," replied Adriana grabbing her drink and walking toward the doorway.  
"Adriana," said Grace carefully. "There is also a slight problem."  
"And that would be?" asked Adriana.  
"Celebron, Glorfindel, and Thranduil won't go on until some of the elves are _'free' _from captivity," said Grace.  
"What!" screeched Adriana. "I thought that the knock out gas would keep them out until the show starts."  
"Well apparently there was a malfunction," said Grace as calmly as possible. Adriana ignored her secretary and hurried down to where the three older elves were being held. Quinn was already there, filing her nails, and sighing.

"Where are they?" snapped Adriana.  
"In the cell down the hall and to your right," replied Quinn. Adriana stalked off down the hallway until she reached the cell where the elves were staying in.  
"What are your demands?" asked Adriana getting right to the point.  
"Who, are you?" asked Elrond.  
"I am the woman who owns you," replied Adriana. "The producer of this show, Adriana Fitch."  
"So you're the woman we need to speak to then," said Glorfindal.  
"Yes," replied Adriana. "Now what are you're demands?"  
"We want some of the elves on this show let go," said Elrond simply.  
"I am not budging even an inch on the elves boys," replied Adriana. "They are going to remain here whether you like it or not and I will not have it any other way."  
"Then we shall refuse to go on!" cried Thranduil outraged.  
"I'm afraid you have no choice," said Adriana. "You signed a binding contract that you cannot break! You do as your told. If I tell you to dance, you dance. If I tell you to kiss the ground I walk on, you better French that ground for all it's worth."  
"That's disgusting," said Celeborn making a face.  
"Yeah and so is your Momma," replied Adriana.  
"Don't talk about my mother you horrid child!" cried Celeborn. Adriana sighed.  
"What are you gonna do to me, hmm?" she asked. "Skewer me with your bright blue eyes?" Celeborn glared at the girl and replied.  
"Don't make me start talking about your momma," he threatened shaking his finger like he was scolding a child.  
"My Mother is none of your concern Celeborn," said Adriana. "Getting you four on this show is."  
"Not until I see some proof that the elves are safe and sound," said Celeborn. Adriana sighed in annoyance and snapped her fingers. A guy who looked to be one of the men from _The Men In Black _movies walked up to Adriana.  
"Yes Ms. Fitch?" he asked.  
"Could you do me a favor and bring me a TV monitor please?" asked Adriana. "One that shows where the other elves are staying."  
"Of course," He replied and went off to get the TV monitor.

"Now," said Adriana turning to the other elves. "Once you have seen them, you are to go onto the show and be interviewed…Well at least Celeborn, Thranduil, and Elrond. Glorfindal, you'll be lumped together with the other elves and have a chance to meet your fan girls."  
"But I don't want to meet them," whined Glorfindal slightly.  
"Well truth be told I don't care if you do or you don't," said Adriana as the man in black came back with a TV monitor. "Those girls scare me as much as they scare you." She turned back around and turned on the TV monitor.  
"It's hooked up to the elves containment center?" she asked flipping through the channels to find the right one. "Tom & Jerry, Beauty & The Geek, Whose line is it anyways, CSI…"  
"It's on channel three ma'am," he replied. Adriana punched in 0 3 and up popped up the elves room where they were staying.  
"See!" she cried. "Perfectly alright!" The other elves were unsure but they slowly moved toward the screen and looked. Sure enough the elves were sitting in what look to be a hotel room. All of them seemed a little restless and looked slightly nervous. Something hit the window and all the elves jumped over to the other side of the room immediately.  
"What was that?" asked Thranduil. Adriana wrinkled her nose slightly and her eyes became little slits.  
"I think…that was…" Her eyebrows shot up slightly. "Woman's underwear. To put it in proper terms." The men around her looked a little flustered except Man in Black man.

**( Can we give him a name? PLEASE! - OM or the Other Me  
( Now why would you want to go and do a thing like that? Blacky wants to keep his identity a secret- Me  
( Just shut up and continue you the story- OM ) **

"Alright gentlemen," said Adriana clapping her hands together as '**Fred**' ( as he will hence be called I suppose) walked off. "Milla and the other security personal will come down and get you soon. Just please, remain calm and keep your hands and feet inside the ride at all times." Adriana waved and walked off.  
"Do you think she actually meant that?" asked Elrond. The men heard a slight click of someone pressing a button and the floor beneath them fell open. They screamed as they fell down the hole and onto soft mattresses.  
"You really have a handle on button pushing," said Quinn.  
"You should see me when I get to blow up planets," said Adriana as the two walked off toward the studio lot where the first part of the show was going to begin.  
Milla and Ashley ( AKA: Elven Bunny) walked over the elves with a band of agents behind them. Milla opened the doors to the containment center and looked around inside. The elves were trying to regain their balance and seemed to be having a difficult time.  
"Fredrick and Fred," said Milla. "Take Glorfindal to the other elves containment center. The rest of you will take the others to the undisclosed area. Make sure they are blindfolded when they go. We don't want them knowing where they are going." The agents flooded in and Fredrick and Fred took Glorfindal away.  
"I don't want to go!" he cried like a five year old. "I don't want to go!" Ashley watched him go with a raised eyebrow and she turned to Milla.  
"Is he going to be ok?" Milla looked over at Glorfindal who was grabbing onto anything he could get his hands on.  
"Oh he'll be fine," she replied as the agents took the rest of the elves, blindfolded of course, out a side door that led to the area they would be filming. Since G. F. S  
( Grasslands For Saving) had come in and said that the land was to be preserved in it's natural beauty so the team could not use cars to get through the forest. They had to use horse drawn wagons/ carriages/ drag people by their hair with a horse, to get around anywhere. The G. F. S also said they had to clean up any horse dung that was left behind. It wasn't pretty, at all and it only made everyone more jumpy.

"Alright gentlemen," said Milla shoving them into a large carriage. "Enjoy the ride and do not try to even escape." The men were allowed to take off their blindfolds once inside the carriage, only because all the windows of the carriage were closed. Even the tiniest crack. Milla and Ashley hoped up top into the drivers seat and grabbed hold of the reins.  
"How about we make this more interesting," said Ashley. Milla glanced at her and asked:  
"What do you have in mind?"  
"Time me," said Ashley. "See how long it takes me to get the elves over to the castle. When you have to bring the other elves I'll also time you and whoever has the best time wins. Loser has to eat a snail?"  
"Hmm," mused Milla. "Why not?" They shook hands and Milla pulled out a stopwatch from her pocket.  
"Let's go!" yelled Ashley and took off while Milla timed her.

The ride was bumpy and the two girls were laughing their heads off as they practically ran over anything in their path. Which was a very unfortunate thing for the eleves inside because they were practically bouncing around the carriage.  
"I think I'm going to be sick…" said Celeborn sourly.  
"T-t-this…I-s insane!" cried Thranduil grabbing onto his seat for dear life. "They're going to kill us for sure!" Elrond's head hit the top pf the coach and he groaned in pain.  
"Maybe we can sure for damages," he said rubbing his head.  
"Good luck trying to accomplish that," replied Celeborn as all three men were thrown onto the other side of the carriage as it came to a jolting halt.  
"We're here!" said Milla in a peppy voice as she opened the door and light flooded into the cramped space. "Now get out of the carriage, I have another run to make after this." The three elves were pulled out of the carriage and were escorted to a large white castle. They were bewildered beyond belief by the sheer size of the mountainous thing and gaped openly at it.

"Who owns this place?" asked Thranduil.  
"Adriana," said Milla. "She lets other people use it to make movies and other TV shows. I'm sure you've seen it in _Come back to me Luenial _and _Royal Intrigue_." None of the three elves had ever heard of the movies and just continued to gap.  
"Stop gaping already," said Ashley. "Your needed on the set in fifteen minutes and we have to make it look like you aren't our prisoners. Fred and Fredrick will take good care of you." The two men pushed the three elves inside and the girls watched them go.  
"So," said Ashley turning to Milla. "Ready to get your ass beat?"  
"You wish!" cried Milla and the two ran back to the carriage.

Quinn sighed in annoyance as the makeup lady finished putting on the sparkling makeup on her. She also made sure that Quinn's pink hair was curled delicately to give her the effect of innocence. Which she did not have a single entity in her entire body.  
"Are you done?" asked Quinn when the woman stood back from her.  
"Yeah," the girl replied. "Your good to go." Quinn cleaned off the imaginary lint on her crisp white suit and walked off to the large parlor area where they would be filming. She sat in the comfy red chair and crossed her legs. This was taking far to long for her tastes but she dare not say a thing in fear that Adriana would send out her monkey battalion to mob her or worse. She saw Adriana walk into the parlor area. Taking to Grace, her secretary, who seemed to be taken notes on what she was saying.  
"…And that is why I want only want Pink Fluffy Bunnies," said Adriana. "Because the other ones don't do much good except piddle and poop." Quinn looked at her boss strangely.  
"Ah, Quinn!" cried Adriana. "Do you know what you are doing?"  
"Well I know I am suppose to be interviewing Elrond, Celeborn, and Thranduil but what else am I suppose to be doing?"  
"We're beginning in their wives and you get to ask them how they '_caught_' their elf," said Adriana.  
"But…"  
"But what?" asked Adriana.  
"Elrond's wife is in the grey heavens, Galadriel is one of the most powerful elves in the land, and Thranduil's wife is dead!"  
"Ah but that is why we have the magical mirror that acts like a telephone/TV, a paid actor, and the reincarnation closet." There was a loud explosion over in the other room and Quinn jumped.  
"What was that?"  
"Oh that was the reincarnation closet," said Adriana. "It's not working so good right now. You may be dealing with a ghost when the time comes."  
"What!" screeched Quinn.  
"Oh it'll be alright Quinn," said Adriana. "Think of it as a new adventure of some sorts!" She turned to the crew and yelled: "Let's get this on the air now ladies and gentlemen! Move it!" Adriana walked off and Quinn sat erect in her chair. Elrond, Celeborn, and Thranduil were led out their seats on the right of her. While three seats remained unopened on her left side.

"Now remember gentlemen," said Adriana sitting beside the director. "I own you and I have thousands of security guards all over this place! Don't you even think about moving."  
"Can we just start already?" asked Quinn whining slightly.  
"Sure," replied Adriana. "Bring um out boys!"  
"Um," said the director tapping Adriana on the shoulder. "We have a slight problem…"  
"What do you mean?"  
"Well," said the director. "We couldn't bring Celebrian to the castle because she has a severe injury and it would be to emotional for us bring her on."  
"Where am I going to find someone to replace her last minute?" said Adriana enraged. She pushed the director over in his seat and growled angrily. She looked around and pulled a random guy with blue eyes over to her.  
"You, Get in a dress, get a wig, and get some makeup on," said Adriana. "For this interview you're Celebrian."  
"But I'm just a light specialist," he replied. Adriana sighed.  
"What is your name?" she asked.  
"Jason Nickels," replied the guy.  
"Well Jason," said Adriana patting his head. "I own the company you are working for. If I say you can act, you can act. Now go unleash your inner gay man! Okay Dokey?" Jason nodded.  
"Now hurry up and get ready," said Adriana. "The show is a about to start." Jason ran off in fear of losing his job and paycheck.

Someone tapped Adriana on the shoulder and she turned around and screamed.  
"Why am I alive?" asked the creepy voice of Thranduil's wife, Nurdiyana.  
"For an interview," said Adriana standing up and regaining her composure. "On the show How to Catch an Elf."  
"Ooo! I'm going to be on National Elf TV!" cried Nurdiyana. Adriana nodded and smiled but she wondered to herself, _'Aren't elves suppose to more dignified?'  
_"Go ahead and sit in the seat next to Quinn then," said Adriana.  
"Yay!" cried Nurdiyana as she floated toward her seat. Quinn's eyes widened to the size of canelopes. She looked over at Adriana, who simply shrugged in return and dusted herself off.

"Thranduil darling," purred Nurdiyana as she phased through Quinn, Elrond, and Celeborn to get to Thranduil. "It's been such a long time hasn't it? A thousand years gIve or take." Thranduil was stock still as he looked at the woman open mouthed.  
"Oh stop gapping like a fish!" cried Nurdiyana.  
"Madam," said Adriana. "You need to sit down in your seat." Nurdiyana sighed.  
"It pays to be beautiful," she said. "Everyone wants your attention!" Nurdiyana giggled brightly and floated towards her new seat, at the very end.  
"I don't remember your wife being like that," said Celeborn. Thranduil just looked at him horrified and slumped down in his seat.

"Are we gonna do this show or what?" asked a girl wearing a blonde wig as her dress fell down around her. She looked to only be about twelve but she was in fact fifteen. She was also snapping her gum loudly and was texting someone on her phone.  
"Spit out the come Cassandra," said Adriana. "I don't pay you to do this to chew gum. I pay you to play the part of Galadriel."  
"But I wanna see Legolas!" whined the girl.  
"And you will," said Adriana stiffly. "As soon as you get your butt in their and start working! Now go sit next to the ghost girl." Cassandra frowned at her and stalked over to her seat. She screamed and cried when the crew took away her gum and made her forcefully spit out her gum. Her face was cherry red as she cried and cried. Adriana rubbed her temples as she felt a migraine coming on.  
"Shut up Cassandra!" she yelled at the girl but she continued to cry. Adriana huffed in frustration and knocked over the director again who had finally gotten up again.  
"Where's Jason?" asked Adriana.  
"Here," said the glum voice of Jason. Adriana laughed outright as she looked at him. He was wearing a black wig over his dark curls and he had makeup on to make him look more girly and let's not forget the dress! A bright yellow color that could make you dizzy if you stared at it too long. With belled sleeves and white belt around his waist. He also had on a fake bra and had tissue stuffed into it.  
"Shut up," he snapped walking toward his chair. Some people made catcalls and whistled.

"Grace," said Adriana trying to contain her laughter. "Make…" she started laughing again. "Make sure Jason Nickels gets a raise!"  
"Will do," replied Grace walking off to go make those arrangements.

"Quiet on the set!" yelled the Director, Mr. Gregory Smith. Everyone hushed as **_Celebrian_**, sat down and made his- uh I mean herself comfortable.  
"In 5...4...3...2..." Greg pointed to Quinn telling her she could go.

"Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the How to Catch and Elf first episode!" cried Quinn grandly. "To start of our show we decided to have an interview with three of the top elves in Middle earth. Thranduil- King of Mirkwood, Elrond- Lord of Rivendell, and Celeborn-Lord of Lothlorien." Each elf sort of waved when their name was called and shifted nervously.  
"Tonight, we have each of these men's wives to tell us how they caught their man," said Quinn winking at the camera. "We shall first start with Celebrian, wife to Elrond." Quinn turned toward the person next to her and smiled. "So Celebrian, thank you for joining us tonight."  
"It's a pleasure to be here," said Jason trying to do a high pitched voice. Adriana held in a laugh and she knocked over Greg again as she tried to contain it.  
"Wait a minute!" cried Elrond. "That's not Celebrian! That is not my wife!"  
"And that isn't my daughter, either!" said Celeborn.  
"What are you talking about," said Jason still in girly voice mode. "Of course I am your daughter! Can't you tell by my long black hair, bright blue eyes, and girlish figure?" He batted his eyelashes at the camera.  
"Yes Celeborn," said Quinn. "And Elrond as well. You both are surely blind for this is truly Celebrian."  
"That is not Celebrian," said Elrond. "That is just a man in a wig!" and with that said Elrond reached across Quinn and pulled Jason's fake hair off.  
"Umm…" said Jason. "That just proves I got a haircut!"  
"Do you want us to make you flash the world?" asked Celeborn.  
"Get off me!" cried Quinn. "Your going to ruin my suit! Get off! Get off!" She pushed Elrond off of her and quickly knocked Celeborn back into his seat.

"Well," said Quinn fixing her hair and smiling at the camera. "Since Celebrian told me earlier that she had a pressing appointment to attend to you. We shall all say goodbye to her." Quinn glared at Jason who waved to the camera and blew kisses at them. He quickly got off stage and went to take off his girl clothing and makeup.  
"Let's move on to our next lady," said Quinn. "Lady Galadriel of Lothlorien." Quinn paused as she turned to **_Galadriel_**. "So Galadriel, how did you come to love Celeborn?" Cassandra put a new piece of gum in her mouth and shrugged.  
"I dunno," said Cassandra. "He's kind of boring."  
"I am not boring!" cried Celeborn. "And you are not Galadriel!"  
"I am too!" argued Cassandra.  
"No your not!" said two voices as they ran onto the set and hugged Celeborn.  
"Don't insult our lover!" cried Laura Mason, a fan girl of Celeborn.  
"What the hell is this?" asked Quinn.  
"We are here to defend Celeborn's honor," said the second girl, Rachel. Who was a Celeborn and Thranduil fan. She suddenly spotted Thranduil and screamed.  
"Thranduil!" she jumped into his lap and kissed his cheek. She snuggled close to him and purred.  
"Oh lord," said Quinn throwing her note cards behind her.  
"Get off me!" cried Celeborn trying to get out of Laura's death grip.  
"Never my love!" cried Laura as she glared at Cassandra. "I shall only let go for a moment though. So that I may destroy the traitor!" She tackled Cassandra who screamed bloody murder and began to crawl away.  
"Get away from my husband!" cried Nurdiyana as she phased through everyone and came toward Rachel.  
"No! He's my Thranduil!" said Rachel hugging him tighter.  
"Get those two off the set," cried Gregory.  
"No!" cried Adriana. "Let Quinn finish."

Quinn glared at Adriana and screamed when her chair was tipped over by Elrond. Who Cassandra and Laura had fallen over. In which Celeborn had tried to stop them from fighting but had also fallen over.  
"Get off me!" cried Quinn as she struggled to get out from under the pack of rabid fan girls, fake Galadriel, and two very powerful elves.  
"Well," said Quinn standing up and looking at the camera's. "That's all for this first show. Stay tuned to meet the fan girls of the elves." Quinn screamed as Rachel was thrown on top of her. Quinn groaned and her face remained implanted on the floor.

Everyone was dead silent and they all looked at Adriana to see her reaction. It was blank at first and then she said: "I LOVE IT!" She jumped up excitedly and rubbed her hands together. "Now, lets go film the rest of the show!" Quinn groaned and fell over.  
"Cleanup on isle 4," called out Adriana as security came and took Rachel and Laura away.  
"I love you Celeborn!" screamed Laura as she was hauled away.  
"I love you Thranduil! I love you Celeborn!" cried Rachel. "You'll be in my heart always!"

"Don't you think that was a great show?" asked Adriana to Gregory. His only response was to faint. Adriana raised an eyebrow and shrugged.

**  
(( TBC….)) **

**Author's Note:** I know, I know! I deserve to be slaughtered for not updating in so long but can any of you ever forgive me! PLEASE! I beggeth you! Please review and tell me if anyone is still interested in this story or not! I'll give you tons of cookies!

**-Legolover **


	18. Mary Sue

-**Disclaimer: You know what, I don't own legolas or Lord of the rings. I am just some really whacked out girl with her own problems. So don't sue me or I might just kill you. (SMILES BRIGHTLY) **

Ch. 18 Mary Sue

Quinn clutched her mocha latte tightly as she tried to sit still as her makeup artist made her look fashionable in her new white suit. The old one had torn greatly and had a few too many stains on it for Quinn. She had been ready to kill the closest thing to her. At the time it had been a vase full of flowers and she had thrown it out a window, screaming in rage. She has not a happy camper and was going to be in a foul mood the rest of the day.

Adriana, on the other hand, couldn't be happier. The viewers of the first showing of How to Catch an Elf were beyond happy! People were eating this stuff up and Adriana was dancing around her extravagant castle in joy. She did knock over Gregory a few more times and so the older man now went around wearing a tin suit, like the knights did back in…sometime that was full of knights and kings and such.

Now that the first part was over, the second part of the showing had to begin. Adriana sat in her office humming to herself while she thought about the fates of Elrond, Thranduil, and Celeborn with glee. Maybe she could get them to stay for awhile…or perhaps she would keep them in their cells with her Pink Fluffy Bunnies of Doom and 29 Monkeys to watch over them. Adriana shrugged the thoughts off as Grace came in with her Coca Cola.

"Thanks Grace," replied Adriana slipping her stilettos back on her feet and fixing her outfit. "Did I have any calls?"

"Just one," said Grace. "From Mary Sue."

Adriana's soda fell to the ground and the fizzy goodness stained the dark wood under her feet. Adriana ran to the doors of the office she was working in and shut them tightly, bolting and double locking it.

"What did you say?" she whispered, coming up to Grace.

"Mary Sue of Mary Sue Inc. called," replied Grace in the same hushed whisper.

"Why?" asked Adriana. "I hate that woman with a passion and she hates me just as much."

"She wants to have luncheon with you," Grace murmured. "She wants to talk about helping you with the show."

"If that woman calls again, you are to hang up on her immediately!" cried Adriana. "I am not having lunch with that woman, one way or another."

"She didn't ask, Adriana," said Grace grabbing some paper towls and cleaning up the soda's mess. "She told me a date and a time."

"Why of all the insolent little-" Adriana growled and muttered several curse words.

"I am not going to have lunch with that woman," Adriana flounced in her chair and crossed her arms over her chest like a child. "If she calls again you can tell her to stuff it through that perfect little-"

"Oh, Adriana!" said a sing-song voice, knocking on the door. Adriana jumped and hid under her desk.

"It's Mary Sue," said the perfect little voice. "I came to see if you got my plans about lunch!"

"Call security and get her off my property," hissed Adriana to Grace. Grace picked up the phone and called Milla, Ashley, and Razzle.

"This is a Mary Sue alert," whispered Grace into the phone. "There is one right outside the castle office. Get her off campus now."

"_We're on it," _replied Milla. There was a faint click of the receiver being put down. Adriana crawled over to Grace and yanked her down behind the desk.

"Well, seeing as how you're not going to come out and greet me, I'll just leave you the invitation," said Mary Sue placing a small white envelope under the doorway. "See you soon Adriana!" The faint clicking of her heels was heard as she walked off down the hallway.

Adriana poked her head out from behind her desk and looked at the envelope sitting calmly on her floor. She reached into one of her drawers and pulled out large yellow gloves. She carefully walked over to the envelope with Grace right behind her.

Adriana picked up the letter by the corner and opened the letter away from her. Who knows what horribly sue-ish scents could drift into the room and blind Adriana with the fresh aromaof lavender and creampuffs.

"What does it say?" whispered Grace. Adriana held the letter some distance away and began to read.

"'You have been cordially invited to a Luncheon that will be held at Mary Sue's Princess Palace'," she said, trying not to gag. "'Where several of Mary Sue's other associates of her company shall join her.'" Adriana ran over to her trash can of doom and shoved the letter into it.

"Burn it, damn it! Burn it!" The phone rang and Grace answered it.

"Hello?"

"We got Mary Sue off the premises," Milla reported into the phone. "Don't worry, she won't be getting in here again."

"Thank you, Milla," Grace sighed with relief.

"You're welcome," replied Milla, and she hung up.

Grace put the phone down and looked at her boss. Adriana was staring out her window glaring at nothing in particular.

"She wants something," she said out loud. "She wouldn't invite me to her home unless she wanted something."

"What do you think she could possibly want?" asked Grace. "She has almost everything she desires and wants. Money, looks, her own production company, grace, poise, -"

"Yes, yes," ansewered Adriana, waving off her secretary. "She can get anything she wants, but she wants something specifically from me." Adriana stroked her chin.

"…D-do you think she wants the show?" asked Grace.

"Maybe that and more," replied Adriana quietly. There was banging on the door and Grace walked over and unlocked it. Quinn stormed into the room, looking enraged.

"Some woman came into the building and told me my suit was so last season!" cried Quinn. "Where is she so I-"

"That wasn't just any woman," said Adriana interrupting her host. "That was most likely Mary Sue." Quinn looked at her boss in disbelief as Adriana sat down in her large chair.

"You mean the woman who is bent on having Sues take over the world?" asked Quinn, taking a seat in one of the chairs provided.

"If you are talking about a woman with extremely golden hair that could blind your eyes, blue eyes that are so sparkling, they make you quiver with fear, curvaceous body but the tiniest waist in the world, then yes, we're talking about the very Mary Sue." Adriana shuffled through some files and fixed her hair.

"…Why was she here?" Quinn asked.

"To invite me to Princess Palace," said Adriana. "Her home and base for all Mary Sues."

"Why would she invite you there? I've heard non-stop how you two hate each other," said Quinn.

"We do," replied Adriana as Grace handed her another Coke and cleaned up the mess the other one had created. "But she wants something and I think it may have to do with this show."

"But she has everything!" cried Quinn. "How can she want more?"

"Yes," Adriana confirmed. "I know, but the fact remains that she wants something from me. Which is either this show or one of the elves on the show." Adriana sighed and straightened up her red suit.

"We need to get the show underway," she said. "We do not discuss what happened today with anyone else, got it?" Grace and Quinn nodded in agreement. "Good, now, let's get a move on." The three women walked out of the office and down the hallway toward the opening that led to the grand entrance.

**Author's Note:**

**I am a Horrible writer for making you all wait this long. I'M SORRY! But I think the chapter is now ready for distribution. I got it back when I was in P. A and I couldn't upload it onto FF. net because my aunt's computer is the slowest thing on earth and I found out that it crashed a few days after I got back to C. A. **

Anyways, school starts for me this coming Monday so I don't know how much I will be able to update but I do want to finish this story because it is one of my best on this website.

I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER IF YOU READ THIS AND REVIEW PEOPLE!

P.S

Thank you my beta reader, Orliefan, for editing this chapter for me! I really did appreciate it.


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